The Potato And The Rooster

When I first started Aikido, I did not even know enough to save myself from myself.  I only got to watch demos, watching my sempais taking ukemi for my sensei.  I thought that being picked by sensei for uke means you are capable enough to help sensei demonstrate something.  It was a badge of honor.  I looked forward to the day when I got called.

As time went on, one of things that I dreaded the most was to be called by my teachers for ukemi.  Reason?  I felt like I was put on the spot.  Every flaw of my movements was displayed on a jumbotron for all to see.  Every time I made a mistake, I wished I could dig a hole and vanish into the middle of the earth.  There were times I took really bad ukemi.  In front of the entire class, I flopped like a sack of potatoes.  I thought to myself, "Maybe I should just quit Aikido . . .  "

But then, time marches on, and I am still practicing Aikido.  I even managed to become an instructor.

One day, as I was practicing with someone, I noticed that he was not moving "normally".  I have known him for years.  He was not practicing.  He was performing -- as in trying to show off.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I asked.

He did not say anything.  A cocky smile flashed across his face, however.  

"Are you trying to impress me?"  I was not amused.  

To my dismay, he responded with a big, enthusiastic smile, "Hehe.  Yes, I am."

"Please focus on your practice.  Don't waste your time." I urged him.

But he would not back off. 

"You know I will always try to impress you . . . "  Another cocky grin.

Sigh.

"You are not just wasting your time.  You are also wasting mine."  I really do not enjoy this kind of exchange, especially on the mat.

"Impress me?  You think you can impress me?  Let me tell you this:  You are in my class right now.  Even if you can do everything I show in class, you are at most as good as I am.  If I am not even impress by myself, why do you think you can impress me?"

Taking ukemi for your teacher at demos means you are serving as a teaching tool.  It is meant to be an educational experience, not a privilege or a praise.  Practice your practice for yourself.  Aikido is not a performance.  Forget about trying to impress anybody.  Don't be consumed about looking bad either.

O Sensei made Aikido a non-competitive martial art with the hopes that people will curb their ego.  Having so many noises in your head does you no good, let alone engaging in strange behaviors to answer to the noises' appeal.

Trust me:  People come to the dojo to practice.  They do not come to watch you.  Be chill.  Practice.