Birds of a Feather Flock Together?
I heard an interesting interview on NPR today. The interviewee is now a best-selling writer who was a college dropout and he used to have a very troubled past.
At one point, he talked about his days of being a drug addict. Most of the time he had no money to get high. Therefore, he tended to hang out with "friends" who would give him drugs.
"I just hang around them and laugh at whatever jokes they tell because I want them to give me drugs. These are people who you normally would not choose to be friends with. Yet, since I want them to give me what I want, I hang around them all the time. One of the great things about quitting is that I do not have to waste my time with such people anymore."
It led me to think about difficult times in my youth. I never used drugs, but I had no money. There were times I did not even have anybody. So, I behaved like this now-writer: I hang around people who I would not normally have been friends with because I wanted "something" from them. There were times when they would "throw a bone" to me. Other times, even to have somebody to stick together with made me feel less lonely. I remember being asked why I was friends with certain people because one could easily see they were not so kind to me. And I remember I did not say a word because I did not want to confront myself with the situation I was in, and what I was doing. It makes me sad thinking about it.
I now have the luxury of choosing to be friends with only selected people. It leads me to wonder if it is always fair to judge someone by their friends. Maybe they are just stuck like I was in a bad spot and simply want something from someone . . .
At one point, he talked about his days of being a drug addict. Most of the time he had no money to get high. Therefore, he tended to hang out with "friends" who would give him drugs.
"I just hang around them and laugh at whatever jokes they tell because I want them to give me drugs. These are people who you normally would not choose to be friends with. Yet, since I want them to give me what I want, I hang around them all the time. One of the great things about quitting is that I do not have to waste my time with such people anymore."
It led me to think about difficult times in my youth. I never used drugs, but I had no money. There were times I did not even have anybody. So, I behaved like this now-writer: I hang around people who I would not normally have been friends with because I wanted "something" from them. There were times when they would "throw a bone" to me. Other times, even to have somebody to stick together with made me feel less lonely. I remember being asked why I was friends with certain people because one could easily see they were not so kind to me. And I remember I did not say a word because I did not want to confront myself with the situation I was in, and what I was doing. It makes me sad thinking about it.
I now have the luxury of choosing to be friends with only selected people. It leads me to wonder if it is always fair to judge someone by their friends. Maybe they are just stuck like I was in a bad spot and simply want something from someone . . .
This seems full of things you could explore:
ReplyDeleteDifficult times in your youth.
People you hung out with and what they gave you.
Why you don't need them now.
The importance of kindness.
Denial of being in a bad situation.
Not wanting to confront yourself (many posts on here could be related to self-improvement)
How you feel about your past selves/
If you see people with "friends" who are not good for them, what do you feel or do?
When have you judged people by their friends?
How do you choose friends?
Can you tell if a friend is good?
Are bad "friends" who "throw bones" being mean or trying to help, as best they can?