A Tourist's Guide to a Free Lunch

Mike and I went to Exuma, Bahamas in spring 2014. It was a cold winter, I saw an offer on Groupon, the hotel has very good reviews. The next thing you know, we were booked for Exuma.

It was a little hotel at a funky location. There were not any real amenities. Yet, quite a few locals come to hang out at the bar and eat at the restaurant in the evening. At the bar, we ran into a nice couple.  They both work at the Sandals Resort on Exuma -- Dan in the IT department, and Laura works at the expedition desk. They choose to work there because they love living in Exuma.  "Come by and visit us some time," Laura said. 

The weather had not been very cooperative. The wind was strong and the water was choppy. It was hard to get into the water to snorkel like we had hoped. "Want to just walk around and see what is here?" Mike suggested. The two of us put on our hats and sandals, started strolling down the road aimlessly. The first stop was at a general store for a drink, after walking for about an hour. The lady watching the store asked where we came from. We told them we were from the US. She asked what our weather was like. We told her we were escaping from the cold weather and the snow. Her eyes flew wide open and asked what snow was like. She spent her entire life in Exuma. The coldest thing she knew was the inside of her fridge. We just realized that it is actually very hard to explain to someone what snowing is like if she had never seen it. After our conversation, she decided that she would save up money so she could come to the US to experience a snowy winter.

We kept walking and reached a sandy bay area. As we got closer, we saw a big sign that says "SANDALS". "Hey! Isn't that where Dan and Laura work? Should we go in and say hi?" Without thinking, we walked into the courtyard and started looking for the expedition desk. We asked, but Laura was not on duty yet. And Dan, like all IT people, was nowhere to be found. "We have a lot of restaurants on-site. Maybe you can at least eat a lunch before going back?" Laura's friendly coworkers suggested. It sounded like a great idea. We picked a restaurant and ordered food.  Mike asked for a beer and a sandwich. I was actually not feeling so great, so I only ordered a soup.

The food was ok, not great, but it hit the spot. We asked the server for our check. 

Server: Check?  Why do you need a check?

Us: We need a check because we ate. We need to pay.

Server: Why do you need to pay? What is your room number?

Us: Room number? We don't have a room number.

Server: You have to have a room number.

Us: Why must we have a room number?

Server: Because you are staying here. You have to have a room number.

Us: Oh, we are not staying here. We don't have a room number.

Server:  You are not staying here? You mean you are not our guests? 😮😮😮  🚨 OMG! You ate here but you are not our guests! OMG! I don't even know how to deal with this. You need to go to the front desk!

So, we did go to the front desk and told people what happened. They had the exact 😮 on their faces and freaked out. We were then told that guests staying there eat free, but outsiders may pay $185 per person per day for using their facilities. "You can get two day-passes." A staff suggested. "We only ate lunch! We did not do anything else and have no intention of using your facilities.  It's an accident!" $370 is kinda of expensive for a lunch like that.

The front desk people called this department and that department for about 20 minutes. Meanwhile I ran to the expedition desk to get help. "OMG! I didn't know that you can't eat here! It's our fault!!! What do we do now? Can't they just charge you for the food? Can we pay for you as staff members? But we eat free, too! OMG!" Literally, everybody is freaking out.

By the time I returned to the front desk, Mike looked much calmer and said to me in a quiet voice, "Let's go." "Go? Go where? We need to pay!" I said. "No, let's go. They called the Sales Department. They also had no idea what to do with us, so the supervisor said to let us go -- just don't come back." 

😮 It was my turn. 

The two of us quickly, but quietly went back the way we came without looking back.  We felt like two lucky criminals who got loose 😰😰.  Sure enough, the next evening, Laura and Dan came to our hotel to look for us. They laughed their heads off. By then we could laugh at it with them.

Although you now know how to get a free lunch from a Sandal's Resort, I sincerely do not recommend it.