Hard-headed Woman
As a teenager, I always fantasize doing somersaults like Jackie Chan. I never told anybody about it. Sometimes friends catch me staring into space and ask me what I am thinking. A lot of times, I am daydreaming about being Jackie Chan, doing parkour-like moves, bouncing from surface to surface. "That would be so cool!" However, I always shrug my shoulders and say, "Nothing." I don't want to turn myself into a laughing stock.
Be like Jackie Chan. Really? I am a clumsy and sickly kid. I am terrible at running. Even brisk walking can be a challenge. I cannot hop, let alone jumping. Basketball is not my thing because, aside from my jumping issues, I have difficulty bouncing a ball. Somehow, the basketball likes to attack me on the face. If not, it just stops bouncing the moment I get my hand on it. It does not like me, I don't like it. My friends love jumping on the trampoline. I got on it once and quickly came back down because my body hurts while bouncing up and down. I wonder why people even say it is fun at all! I have a hard time having fun. I am not good at being a teenager.
In college, I accidentally ran into Aikido. My sensei says that one does not have to be big or strong or fast to do Aikido. "That would be me!!!" For that, I attend every single practice I can. I get there early and do not want to leave.
Mike is there early, too. He is usually the one who puts down the mats for practice. He walks around swiftly with a mat in his hands. The mat looks like it weighs nothing. "Maybe I can move mats, too," I think to myself. "May I help you, Mike?" "Sure," he cheerfully replies. I go to the corner of the room and reach for a mat. Boy, is it heavy. I use all my might to lift a mat. Within a split second, the corner of the mat slips out of hand and falls back to the floor. I stand there staring at it in silence. I vividly remember hearing this in my head: "You want to learn Aikido? For real?? You cannot even handle one of the four corners of a mat -- a dead object! How will you ever manage to handle a person coming at you? Forget it! Who are you kidding?" I can feel tears rolling into my eyes. "What's up? Are you ok?" Mike asks. "Nothing." I shrug my shoulders. Inside, I am pondering if I should just go home.
Many years later, my doctors finally figure out I have so many movement and balance issues because I have nerve problems stemming from my neck. This kind of condition is more common among 70 to 80-year-old seniors. I am very lucky to start at about age 7. It could be congenital, but who knows. It does not change anything anyways.
Students often wonder why someone like me, who cannot do simple tandem walk (i.e. walking toe to heel and heel to toe), can do Aikido moves that they have a hard time grasping. My brother, the western doctor, will tell you: "Those are trained movements." Takeguchi Sensei probably will tell you, "It's time in." I will tell you, "Stubbornness."
We may not always be born with a talent or ability. Yet, for most things, I believe, if you want it enough, you will find ways of getting there. Any time you feel discouraged, just think of me -- the hard-headed woman.
Be like Jackie Chan. Really? I am a clumsy and sickly kid. I am terrible at running. Even brisk walking can be a challenge. I cannot hop, let alone jumping. Basketball is not my thing because, aside from my jumping issues, I have difficulty bouncing a ball. Somehow, the basketball likes to attack me on the face. If not, it just stops bouncing the moment I get my hand on it. It does not like me, I don't like it. My friends love jumping on the trampoline. I got on it once and quickly came back down because my body hurts while bouncing up and down. I wonder why people even say it is fun at all! I have a hard time having fun. I am not good at being a teenager.
In college, I accidentally ran into Aikido. My sensei says that one does not have to be big or strong or fast to do Aikido. "That would be me!!!" For that, I attend every single practice I can. I get there early and do not want to leave.
Mike is there early, too. He is usually the one who puts down the mats for practice. He walks around swiftly with a mat in his hands. The mat looks like it weighs nothing. "Maybe I can move mats, too," I think to myself. "May I help you, Mike?" "Sure," he cheerfully replies. I go to the corner of the room and reach for a mat. Boy, is it heavy. I use all my might to lift a mat. Within a split second, the corner of the mat slips out of hand and falls back to the floor. I stand there staring at it in silence. I vividly remember hearing this in my head: "You want to learn Aikido? For real?? You cannot even handle one of the four corners of a mat -- a dead object! How will you ever manage to handle a person coming at you? Forget it! Who are you kidding?" I can feel tears rolling into my eyes. "What's up? Are you ok?" Mike asks. "Nothing." I shrug my shoulders. Inside, I am pondering if I should just go home.
Many years later, my doctors finally figure out I have so many movement and balance issues because I have nerve problems stemming from my neck. This kind of condition is more common among 70 to 80-year-old seniors. I am very lucky to start at about age 7. It could be congenital, but who knows. It does not change anything anyways.
Students often wonder why someone like me, who cannot do simple tandem walk (i.e. walking toe to heel and heel to toe), can do Aikido moves that they have a hard time grasping. My brother, the western doctor, will tell you: "Those are trained movements." Takeguchi Sensei probably will tell you, "It's time in." I will tell you, "Stubbornness."
We may not always be born with a talent or ability. Yet, for most things, I believe, if you want it enough, you will find ways of getting there. Any time you feel discouraged, just think of me -- the hard-headed woman.
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