My Run-in With The Chiangmai Police

It all started with the sign: Chiangmai Chinatown.

I was strolling down the streets of Chiangmai while Mike was off to his meetings.  I did not know there was a Chinatown in Chiangmai.  It was such a hot day.  The alleys behind the sign seemed more shaded and cooler than the main road.  So, I thought I should go explore.

As I got in, there was a bunch of stores that sell minority-themed fabric, embroidery and souvenirs.  Then I saw stores that sell Chinese goods and house ware.  Oh, and there was a big wet market behind this all.  Fresh fruit, vegetables, spices, snacks . . .  You name it.

I shopped and ate my way around till my feet became quite tired.  I did not want to walk the same way back because I had been walking in twists and turns like Family Circus.  "There has to be a more direct route," I thought to myself, as I pulled out my tourist map.  I looked and looked, but there was no indication of the Chinatown, the market, or even the street I was on!  I asked multiple fellow tourists: nobody knew where we were.  Seems like everybody just stumbled into this interesting neighborhood by accident.  Two American women actually gave up and called Uber to fetch them by giving the drive the name of a nearby coffee shop.

I noticed the river next to the market.  I remembered our hotel was also near a river.  I had the feeling that if I followed the river, I should be able to get back to the hotel.  I kept checking street and bridge names I encountered against the map along the way.  Nothing.  There was no match.

When I was a kid, we were taught "If you ever get lost, ask a policeman for help."  At the junction of two main roads, I saw a policeman on a motorbike.  To make sure I am going the right direction, I thought I would do just that.

The policeman took my map, looked at it very intently for a long time, and then he rotated the map, and rotated the map, and rotated the map again . . .  Not only had I found out the policeman did not speak English, I also realized, at this point, that he could not read maps!  Just as I was to ask for my map back, Mr Policeman tapped on the motorbike seat with his hand.  "What? Is he asking me to do what I think he was asking?"  Oh, yes, Mr Policeman invited me to hop on his motorbike.  The next thing you know, I was riding on a Thai police motorbike with a map in one hand and a bag of pomelo in another!

We zoomed through a block or two, crossed a bridge and then we arrived at a Traffic Police Post at another busy junction.  Mr Policeman signaled me to get off and directed me to the Traffic Police Post.

There are numerous Traffic Police Posts in Chiangmai.  They are inconspicuous structures like big boxes with a one-way mirror on their windows so one cannot see the inside from the outside.  I went inside through the door on one wall.  Then I saw about twelve TVs showing traffic at different angles hanging on another wall.  On the other two walls, there were big windows looking over the traffic from all four directions at that junction.  A traffic policeman was standing in front of the windows watching the traffic.

"Can I help you?" The Traffic Policeman asked.  "Yes, Sir. I want to go back to my hotel. Would you show me the way?" I asked cautiously.  I was still trying to make sense of the surreal experience I had on the police motorbike a minute ago.  Plus, my confidence in Thai policemen had become rather shaken at this point.

The Traffic Policeman showed me a big smile, but he held one hand up and said, "Wait a moment." He grabbed my arm to pulled me away from a box next to me.  This big metal box was bolted to the floor.  Behind a little door, there were four buttons clearly marked "No.1", "No.2", "No.3", and "No.4". Traffic Policeman reached inside the box and pushed buttons No. 2 and No.4 while keeping his eyes on the traffic. Suddenly, the traffic lights changed.  At that moment, it dawned on me that the traffic lights were actually manually controlled by this human Traffic Policeman!

With the traffic now flowing in the other directions, Mr Traffic Police asked me where I was going and quickly pointed out that, had I not crossed the bridge, I was only a block away from my hotel!

Lessons learnt:

No. 1 -- Like the manually controlled traffic lights, things may not always be what they seem on the outside.

No. 2 -- Even when you are lost, think twice before asking the police for help.



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