The Danger Is Real?
Saw a post by an Aikido friend on FaceBook:
"The danger is real; fear is a choice."
Sounds cool. I suppose that is what a lot of people think. Because they think so, it must be true. Or, is it?
At Aikido practice, since day 1, we have attackers coming at us. The most basic static attack is to have someone hold our wrist (katate tori). As my teacher, the late Kenneth Cottier Sensei explained, the hold on the wrist is not an attack by itself. Honestly, how often do you hear about people getting hurt or die from being held at the wrist? Cottier Sensei called the grip the "initial attack". The real threat is the other fist, or a knee. or a kick, or a head butt that follows (if you come from Liverpool, like Cottier Sensei). Even though a hold at the wrist cannot hurt, it is enough to make many people freeze.
In Aikido, we practice also dealing with more dynamic attacks like strike at the head, or a punch, and in some situations, a kick. Sure enough, once we get into that territory, people get even more stressed out and fearful. Instead of focusing their energy on moving themselves, people tend to stand there like a deer in front of car headlights. FYI: Deer that stand still to stare at car headlights tend not to fare well. We call them roadkills.
Many times, I tried to examine this subject in class with fellow aikido students: "Are you really in danger? When are you in danger?"
I had a student stand in front of me. I played attacker. The moment I moved my hand, he already started waving his arms in a panicky fashion. "Nope. You don't get to move. You only need to stand here to experience the process and feel when you are in danger. I promise I will not hurt you deliberately." Everybody could tell my partner was very uncomfortable. The fact is, everybody else was very uncomfortable, too.
My partner's eyes were constantly staring at my hand. On his face, there was a painful smile. I could hear a nervous laugh underneath his heavy breathing. "Are you afraid? Are you hurting? I have not even touched you." I reassured him that he would be fine while my hand continued to inch forward in slo-mo. I could tell his stress level was skyrocketing by the second. I kept moving my hand forward as if I was going to strike my partner's head . . . until I was about 1mm away.
I paused and checked with him, "So far, are you alright? Are you hurt?" "No, I am not hurt," he muttered uncomfortably, "but I know you are going to hit me!" "Really? Am I going to hit you? You see, I have moved my hand thus far, but what I did has no consequence to you yet. You have not moved a bit, but I still have not hit you." Then I moved my hand just a tad more and it landed on his forehead. It was a gentle tap. No damage done. "Now I have hit you. It is only now -- this last split second!" I looked at my friend in his eyes, "Tell me: for how long have you been fearing about the encounter?" My partner muttered, "The entire time!"
I invited him to redo this experiment with me a second time. This time around, he was allowed to move his feet as soon as he sensed that I started going for him. However, he was not allowed to use his arms or hands. My partner was a little nervous at first. Yet, the moment I hit, he swiftly moved out of the way during the time that he previously spent on fearing about what might happen .
As I was trying to demonstrate to the class, a lot of times, people spend their energy on worrying about what might happen instead of doing something that can avoid the possibility from becoming reality. As such, their worst nightmare becomes true. With times, it only solidifies their belief that the danger is real. It is only a self-fulfilling prophecy that you create.
So, no, the danger is NOT real. Indeed, fear is a choice. To me, however, it is not about to fear or not to fear. Rather, it is more about choosing what to do as you sense a threat is looming. When fear becomes a real imminent choice, you are already in danger. Too late.
"The danger is real; fear is a choice."
Sounds cool. I suppose that is what a lot of people think. Because they think so, it must be true. Or, is it?
At Aikido practice, since day 1, we have attackers coming at us. The most basic static attack is to have someone hold our wrist (katate tori). As my teacher, the late Kenneth Cottier Sensei explained, the hold on the wrist is not an attack by itself. Honestly, how often do you hear about people getting hurt or die from being held at the wrist? Cottier Sensei called the grip the "initial attack". The real threat is the other fist, or a knee. or a kick, or a head butt that follows (if you come from Liverpool, like Cottier Sensei). Even though a hold at the wrist cannot hurt, it is enough to make many people freeze.
In Aikido, we practice also dealing with more dynamic attacks like strike at the head, or a punch, and in some situations, a kick. Sure enough, once we get into that territory, people get even more stressed out and fearful. Instead of focusing their energy on moving themselves, people tend to stand there like a deer in front of car headlights. FYI: Deer that stand still to stare at car headlights tend not to fare well. We call them roadkills.
Many times, I tried to examine this subject in class with fellow aikido students: "Are you really in danger? When are you in danger?"
I had a student stand in front of me. I played attacker. The moment I moved my hand, he already started waving his arms in a panicky fashion. "Nope. You don't get to move. You only need to stand here to experience the process and feel when you are in danger. I promise I will not hurt you deliberately." Everybody could tell my partner was very uncomfortable. The fact is, everybody else was very uncomfortable, too.
My partner's eyes were constantly staring at my hand. On his face, there was a painful smile. I could hear a nervous laugh underneath his heavy breathing. "Are you afraid? Are you hurting? I have not even touched you." I reassured him that he would be fine while my hand continued to inch forward in slo-mo. I could tell his stress level was skyrocketing by the second. I kept moving my hand forward as if I was going to strike my partner's head . . . until I was about 1mm away.
I paused and checked with him, "So far, are you alright? Are you hurt?" "No, I am not hurt," he muttered uncomfortably, "but I know you are going to hit me!" "Really? Am I going to hit you? You see, I have moved my hand thus far, but what I did has no consequence to you yet. You have not moved a bit, but I still have not hit you." Then I moved my hand just a tad more and it landed on his forehead. It was a gentle tap. No damage done. "Now I have hit you. It is only now -- this last split second!" I looked at my friend in his eyes, "Tell me: for how long have you been fearing about the encounter?" My partner muttered, "The entire time!"
I invited him to redo this experiment with me a second time. This time around, he was allowed to move his feet as soon as he sensed that I started going for him. However, he was not allowed to use his arms or hands. My partner was a little nervous at first. Yet, the moment I hit, he swiftly moved out of the way during the time that he previously spent on fearing about what might happen .
As I was trying to demonstrate to the class, a lot of times, people spend their energy on worrying about what might happen instead of doing something that can avoid the possibility from becoming reality. As such, their worst nightmare becomes true. With times, it only solidifies their belief that the danger is real. It is only a self-fulfilling prophecy that you create.
So, no, the danger is NOT real. Indeed, fear is a choice. To me, however, it is not about to fear or not to fear. Rather, it is more about choosing what to do as you sense a threat is looming. When fear becomes a real imminent choice, you are already in danger. Too late.
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