Fearless. Fear Less.
"How come I have never seen you being afraid?"
Ariel from Pittsburgh asked me in Aikido class when he came down to visit one time. I did not expect such a question because I had never thought about it. He made me start asking myself, "Right. I used to be scared, but it feels like a long time ago. Since when have I stopped feeling scared? Why did I stop?"
My little Aikido life kinda flashed in front of my eyes, and I remember situations in which I was afraid. Yet, after a certain point, even though I have come across some real close calls, I cease to react with fear.
Many "Aha moments" came to the fore front. For example, I remember how it dawned on me one evening that, nothing about the attack in front of me matters as long as I don't let the final impact materialize. I also remember realizing one evening at Aikido that, if I am willing to move my feet, it is extremely difficult for my partner to hit me. I only have to move very little and I have a lot of time to do it.
I recall the times when I used to freak out when my partner comes at me. The stress I experience makes it so hard for me to move. It slows me down. The more seriously I take this action by my partner, the harder it is for me to get out of the way. I am literally making a possibility of being hit a certain reality by being scared. I remember telling myself, "I am much better off forgetting about being afraid. It is not helping me!"
Indeed, fear is a rather useless emotion. It does not help change the situation. And it does not help you prepare for danger nor does it help you handle it any better. You might as well skip it altogether.
I believe this epiphany helps me in my daily life as well.
My sister lives on the West Coast while we live on the East. She started helping support the family when she was only a teenager. I am the youngest in the family. I was one of her responsibilities. She used to say to me, "You live so far way and you do not have family around. I am worried about you." I understand and appreciate her sentiments. Yet, I told her there is no need to worry about me.
"We are both adults. Please have faith in me and our relationship that I will always keep you informed of things that you need to know. I am doing fine. There is no reason to worry. Plus, even if I am in trouble, worrying does not help me. It does not improve my situation. It only wears you out. Caring about me or, at the most, being concerned about me is good enough." I think my beloved sister has become much better at this. I think I have proven to her that I handle my life pretty well. Plus, in rare situations when I could use some help and support, I did let her know and welcomed her help. This has been keeping our relationship pleasant and healthy.
Do you have something on your mind? How long have you been carrying it with you? How does it feel? Is it useful to carry these things in your heart? Is there anything you can actually do about it? If there is, can you confront it and change the status quo? If not, worrying, fretting about something non stop really does not help. Don't let it consumer you. Is it something you cannot change no matter what? If it is something out of your control, learn to accept it as is, and consider letting it go. I know it is easier said than done, but nothing is harder than carrying such weight in your heart forever. You deserve being happy.
Take care of yourself. Love yourself. Nobody can do it better than you do.
Ariel from Pittsburgh asked me in Aikido class when he came down to visit one time. I did not expect such a question because I had never thought about it. He made me start asking myself, "Right. I used to be scared, but it feels like a long time ago. Since when have I stopped feeling scared? Why did I stop?"
My little Aikido life kinda flashed in front of my eyes, and I remember situations in which I was afraid. Yet, after a certain point, even though I have come across some real close calls, I cease to react with fear.
Many "Aha moments" came to the fore front. For example, I remember how it dawned on me one evening that, nothing about the attack in front of me matters as long as I don't let the final impact materialize. I also remember realizing one evening at Aikido that, if I am willing to move my feet, it is extremely difficult for my partner to hit me. I only have to move very little and I have a lot of time to do it.
I recall the times when I used to freak out when my partner comes at me. The stress I experience makes it so hard for me to move. It slows me down. The more seriously I take this action by my partner, the harder it is for me to get out of the way. I am literally making a possibility of being hit a certain reality by being scared. I remember telling myself, "I am much better off forgetting about being afraid. It is not helping me!"
Indeed, fear is a rather useless emotion. It does not help change the situation. And it does not help you prepare for danger nor does it help you handle it any better. You might as well skip it altogether.
I believe this epiphany helps me in my daily life as well.
My sister lives on the West Coast while we live on the East. She started helping support the family when she was only a teenager. I am the youngest in the family. I was one of her responsibilities. She used to say to me, "You live so far way and you do not have family around. I am worried about you." I understand and appreciate her sentiments. Yet, I told her there is no need to worry about me.
"We are both adults. Please have faith in me and our relationship that I will always keep you informed of things that you need to know. I am doing fine. There is no reason to worry. Plus, even if I am in trouble, worrying does not help me. It does not improve my situation. It only wears you out. Caring about me or, at the most, being concerned about me is good enough." I think my beloved sister has become much better at this. I think I have proven to her that I handle my life pretty well. Plus, in rare situations when I could use some help and support, I did let her know and welcomed her help. This has been keeping our relationship pleasant and healthy.
Do you have something on your mind? How long have you been carrying it with you? How does it feel? Is it useful to carry these things in your heart? Is there anything you can actually do about it? If there is, can you confront it and change the status quo? If not, worrying, fretting about something non stop really does not help. Don't let it consumer you. Is it something you cannot change no matter what? If it is something out of your control, learn to accept it as is, and consider letting it go. I know it is easier said than done, but nothing is harder than carrying such weight in your heart forever. You deserve being happy.
Take care of yourself. Love yourself. Nobody can do it better than you do.
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