The Willow, The Oak And The Tumble Weed
For a number of years, between the time when I was a sankyu (blue belt) to ikkyu (brown belt), I got hurt all the time. The most frequent injuries were to my fingers and my wrists. Pretty much all my knuckles and finger joints had been sprained and swollen. It was a very miserable time.
Usually, the injuries resulted from my partners pushing my fingers sideways. Even if I explicitly told my partners to be careful, it still happened. Many times, I watched it happen like witnessing a car crash into a wall. Even if I cried out "Stop!", it was always too late. Needless to say, I was very upset and confused. These are my beloved Aikido friends. I like them and I believe they like me. Why do they keep hurting me?
Before I moved to the US, I was a smaller and skinnier person. Some of the British guys I practiced with were so much taller than me that I recognized them by the patterns of their chest hair. They did not have to use any aikido technique because they could literally pick me up and throw me like a bag of trash. It was painful and humiliating. I decided I have to find ways of being more rooted so they could not do that to me. After years of practice, I succeeded. Little did I know, however, that my new skill was a double edged sword. It was hurting me without me realizing it.
I was so tired of being beaten up and being upset and angry. One day, I decided to talk to Clyde Takeguchi Sensei about it. I showed him my swollen hands. My wrists, my elbows were also injured and I had many bruises on my arms. I felt so victimized by my partners. Why did they hurt me?
To my surprise, Sensei said, "You are responsible." "What? I was responsible? I thought I was the victim!"
Sensei went on to explain to me that I was very good at connecting to the ground so as to be rooted. Indeed, that made it very difficult for people to move me, unless they were very skillful and were even more rooted than I was. The trouble was that I was trying to be like an old oak tree while I was the size of a sapling. I was more connected to the ground than I was to the partner. People who did not have the skills to uproot this tough sapling end up breaking its branches. And that was exactly what had been happening to me!
So, what do I do? "I will never be big like an oak tree, but I really do not want to become a sac of trash again! I am doomed." I almost felt like crying. "Well, you may never be an oak tree, but are you willing to be a tumble weed?" Sensei smiled at me with inspiring twinkles in his eyes. The next ten minutes, he showed me how to root not with my own feet but with my partners'. It keeps my feet light, but I maintain the foundation to continue with my attack. Even better, my new mobility helps making ukemi even more swift and comfortable!
The next day, I paired up with someone who usually cringed when he paired up with me. The moment we got into action, he let out, "Wow? What is this? The new and improved Meipo 2.0?"
Yeah, maybe. To begin with, my hands did not have to suffer anymore. In addition, this new perspective helped me significantly in moving forward with my Aikido study.
For one thing, when things do not go well, instead of jumping to blame my partners, I learned to step back and ask myself, "Am I responsible?"
Usually, the injuries resulted from my partners pushing my fingers sideways. Even if I explicitly told my partners to be careful, it still happened. Many times, I watched it happen like witnessing a car crash into a wall. Even if I cried out "Stop!", it was always too late. Needless to say, I was very upset and confused. These are my beloved Aikido friends. I like them and I believe they like me. Why do they keep hurting me?
Before I moved to the US, I was a smaller and skinnier person. Some of the British guys I practiced with were so much taller than me that I recognized them by the patterns of their chest hair. They did not have to use any aikido technique because they could literally pick me up and throw me like a bag of trash. It was painful and humiliating. I decided I have to find ways of being more rooted so they could not do that to me. After years of practice, I succeeded. Little did I know, however, that my new skill was a double edged sword. It was hurting me without me realizing it.
I was so tired of being beaten up and being upset and angry. One day, I decided to talk to Clyde Takeguchi Sensei about it. I showed him my swollen hands. My wrists, my elbows were also injured and I had many bruises on my arms. I felt so victimized by my partners. Why did they hurt me?
To my surprise, Sensei said, "You are responsible." "What? I was responsible? I thought I was the victim!"
Sensei went on to explain to me that I was very good at connecting to the ground so as to be rooted. Indeed, that made it very difficult for people to move me, unless they were very skillful and were even more rooted than I was. The trouble was that I was trying to be like an old oak tree while I was the size of a sapling. I was more connected to the ground than I was to the partner. People who did not have the skills to uproot this tough sapling end up breaking its branches. And that was exactly what had been happening to me!
So, what do I do? "I will never be big like an oak tree, but I really do not want to become a sac of trash again! I am doomed." I almost felt like crying. "Well, you may never be an oak tree, but are you willing to be a tumble weed?" Sensei smiled at me with inspiring twinkles in his eyes. The next ten minutes, he showed me how to root not with my own feet but with my partners'. It keeps my feet light, but I maintain the foundation to continue with my attack. Even better, my new mobility helps making ukemi even more swift and comfortable!
The next day, I paired up with someone who usually cringed when he paired up with me. The moment we got into action, he let out, "Wow? What is this? The new and improved Meipo 2.0?"
Yeah, maybe. To begin with, my hands did not have to suffer anymore. In addition, this new perspective helped me significantly in moving forward with my Aikido study.
For one thing, when things do not go well, instead of jumping to blame my partners, I learned to step back and ask myself, "Am I responsible?"
Comments
Post a Comment