Too Good To Be True

Even though Aikido people love Aikido, many people, after a long week of work, choose to go to Happy Hours or even get out of town for a long weekend.  As a result, Friday dojo attendance can be iffy.  Because of this phenomenon, at Capital Aikikai, there used to be an "Open Mat Friday".  This way, people who are preparing for grading, or those who wants to set up "play dates" can use the otherwise idle space.  For a number of years, I was the "chaperone" for Friday evening -- open and close the dojo, offer help if people need it, and make sure people are practicing in a safe manner.

One evening, a young man, L, came to open mat.  He was a transplant from the Midwest.  Nice enough person, but his basics definitely needed work.  He said he wanted to work on ushiro tekubitori (wrists grabbed from behind) techniques and asked me to help him.  So, I suggested we start from the attack and the entrance.  

The way I was taught, the initial intent of the attack is actually a choke from the front.  However, the choke gets intercepted and deflected, so the attacker comes around from behind to take both wrists.  That seems a possible explanation of the way the attack happens.  I cannot think of why anybody who is in front of me would, otherwise, run around to get behind me in order to hold my wrists.  Even if they want to, I probably would not stand still to allow it to happen.  Apparently, L was never taught that.  After I shared my idea with him, I asked him to come attack me so we can work on the entrance.  

"Nope," L shook his head, "I cannot do that."  I was perplexed.  Why can't he come to attack me?  If he does not attack, how do we practice together?  L's explanation: "I don't want to hurt you.  You are a woman."  That is very kind of him, but I don't think muggers think twice before hurting a woman.  Actually, gender may be one of the criteria for assailants in picking their victims: Some people do think women are easier targets.  

At that point of time, L was a  sankyu, and I was a shodan or maybe a nidan.  That means I had been practicing Aikido for at least 12 years already.  "Don't worry.  I ask you to come for me.  If I get choked, I learn something." I assumed L.  

The young man was a little hesitant at first, but he was willing to give it a go.  Armed with the movements that my teachers taught me, I got out of L's way swiftly.  L seemed surprised.  After a couple of failed trials, he started ramping up his efforts and really started attacking.  Still, I got out of his way effortlessly.

"This actually works!" L exclaimed.  I chuckled and asked, "What do you mean by actually works?  Of course, it works."  To my surprise, L went on to say, "Well, you know, I actually never thought it would work.  But it did!  It seems so effortless.  I am surprised!!!"  His response was intriguing to me.  So, he has been practicing Aikido for several years, but inside, he never believed it would work?  Then, why does he practice Aikido?  What has been going on all these years during his practice?  All fake choreographed moves?  He has been training for several years.  Hasn't he had a taste of the power of Aikido yet?  The entire time, he just "cooperated"?  What is going on?

I became really very curious, but L would not give me the answer.

To my surprise, a couple weeks after this incident, L sent an email to the dojo listserv.  He announced that he was quitting Aikido.  He thanked everybody for practice, but he had decided to try out other martial arts instead.  I really did not expect the story to take such a turn.

I know some people have a hard time believing an effective martial art can be so graceful and low-impact.  Without ever trying Aikido, they draw the conclusion that it has to be a scam.  I have also dealt with people who found Aikido "not vigorous enough" because they are not patient enough to get pass the initial "Fragile", "Handle with Care" stage of being a beginner.  I have met a few who had fun at Aikido, but decided they wanted to do something else because Aikido does not offer them the opportunity to take their frustration out on their partners by punching and kicking.  I suppose they do not think of the possibility that during practice, training partners switch roles periodically.  Quitting Aikido because it works too well with minimal effort?  This has to be the first.