Hard Is Easy
Many friends, when they find out that I had cancer at a young age and had to go through vigorous cancer treatments, like to think that I must be very courageous to have survived it all.
A few years back, an Aikido teacher I really like was diagnosed with cancer. As a cancer survivor, I thought I would cheer him on. "Gambatte, Sensei!" The teacher looked perplexed and said sternly, "Gambatte? What are you talking about? There is nothing to do. There is nothing I can do!"
He is right: It really does not take much of any courage or effort to go through these painful treatments. Really. As a patient, there is not much you have to do, or can do. All you need to do is to show up at the hospital. The doctors and nurses will take care of the rest.
As a patient, we play a very passive role in the treatment. Whether you laugh or you cry does not make much of a difference to the process or, perhaps, even the results. The only difference it makes is to yourself and people around you. If you choose to take it easy and keep a good spirit, you may be in a better mood, and your friends and family may not feel as bad. If you choose to be miserable and dwell on your misfortune and discomforts, you sure will find the world gloomy and sad. Every second feels like a century. What the experience means to you is pretty much a product of your own making.
I started developing cancer when I was 17. I had my first surgery when I was 19, and then another surgery, followed by a whole battery of treatment a year later. Nobody taught me the wisdom that life is what you make of it. I was just a dumb, stubborn kid who did not believe that I could die of my illness. Curling up in fetal position and be miserable is just too boring for me. With my kind of personality, it is simply too hard to stay miserable all day. I need to have something to do. Something different and interesting all the time. I consider myself lucky to be young and stupid when I could use it.
Now that I am older, when I think about the subject, I understand why it is so much easier for one to step up to do what needs to be done in a critically bad situation. Why? Because the urgency and severity of the situation make most people think they do not have a choice. When you have no choice, you do what is in front of you without hesitation. Ironically, it is much more difficult for people to persist in making smaller changes in their daily lives for the better.
Losing weight, quitting smoking, exercising more -- These are common things that people struggle to accomplish. Compared to enduring painful treatments, these things seem rather light-weight. What makes it so difficult, then?
To begin with, it involves moving out of our comfort zone. It takes effort. "What if I cannot do it after I try? Then I fail!" Most people do not like the feeling of failure. Instead of risking failure, many people would rather not try. "My situation is actually not that bad. I have been like this for a long time. I am okay . . ." Once you convince yourself that "not good" is not bad, your motivation is out the door.
Similarly, it is hard for people to leave an abusive relationship, or to quit an unsatisfying job that they have been with for some time. "The status quo may not be great, but at least I am used to it and I know what to expect. If I make the change, who knows what would happen?" The anxiety due to uncertainties is very strong. It tends to hold people back. Even if you throw them a ladder, people often would rather continue to sit in the hole. If they do not want to get out, you cannot save them.
That is why I always remind Aikido students to not get used to discomforts on the mat. If you use your body correctly, Aikido movements should be relaxed, easy and comfortable. Once you accept the pain that is associated with a bad move, you would not seek change. You may not improve ever again.
Lesson learnt: Do not settle for something mediocre in life. You deserve better. Yes, it involves work and you may have to take a little risk. Just think about how wonderful it will be when you succeed. The payoff is well worth it and you will be so proud of yourself. Make a baby step at a time and keep moving forward. Do not even look back. Before you know it, you are already there.
Trust me. Good things happen everyday.
A few years back, an Aikido teacher I really like was diagnosed with cancer. As a cancer survivor, I thought I would cheer him on. "Gambatte, Sensei!" The teacher looked perplexed and said sternly, "Gambatte? What are you talking about? There is nothing to do. There is nothing I can do!"
He is right: It really does not take much of any courage or effort to go through these painful treatments. Really. As a patient, there is not much you have to do, or can do. All you need to do is to show up at the hospital. The doctors and nurses will take care of the rest.
As a patient, we play a very passive role in the treatment. Whether you laugh or you cry does not make much of a difference to the process or, perhaps, even the results. The only difference it makes is to yourself and people around you. If you choose to take it easy and keep a good spirit, you may be in a better mood, and your friends and family may not feel as bad. If you choose to be miserable and dwell on your misfortune and discomforts, you sure will find the world gloomy and sad. Every second feels like a century. What the experience means to you is pretty much a product of your own making.
I started developing cancer when I was 17. I had my first surgery when I was 19, and then another surgery, followed by a whole battery of treatment a year later. Nobody taught me the wisdom that life is what you make of it. I was just a dumb, stubborn kid who did not believe that I could die of my illness. Curling up in fetal position and be miserable is just too boring for me. With my kind of personality, it is simply too hard to stay miserable all day. I need to have something to do. Something different and interesting all the time. I consider myself lucky to be young and stupid when I could use it.
Now that I am older, when I think about the subject, I understand why it is so much easier for one to step up to do what needs to be done in a critically bad situation. Why? Because the urgency and severity of the situation make most people think they do not have a choice. When you have no choice, you do what is in front of you without hesitation. Ironically, it is much more difficult for people to persist in making smaller changes in their daily lives for the better.
Losing weight, quitting smoking, exercising more -- These are common things that people struggle to accomplish. Compared to enduring painful treatments, these things seem rather light-weight. What makes it so difficult, then?
To begin with, it involves moving out of our comfort zone. It takes effort. "What if I cannot do it after I try? Then I fail!" Most people do not like the feeling of failure. Instead of risking failure, many people would rather not try. "My situation is actually not that bad. I have been like this for a long time. I am okay . . ." Once you convince yourself that "not good" is not bad, your motivation is out the door.
Similarly, it is hard for people to leave an abusive relationship, or to quit an unsatisfying job that they have been with for some time. "The status quo may not be great, but at least I am used to it and I know what to expect. If I make the change, who knows what would happen?" The anxiety due to uncertainties is very strong. It tends to hold people back. Even if you throw them a ladder, people often would rather continue to sit in the hole. If they do not want to get out, you cannot save them.
That is why I always remind Aikido students to not get used to discomforts on the mat. If you use your body correctly, Aikido movements should be relaxed, easy and comfortable. Once you accept the pain that is associated with a bad move, you would not seek change. You may not improve ever again.
Lesson learnt: Do not settle for something mediocre in life. You deserve better. Yes, it involves work and you may have to take a little risk. Just think about how wonderful it will be when you succeed. The payoff is well worth it and you will be so proud of yourself. Make a baby step at a time and keep moving forward. Do not even look back. Before you know it, you are already there.
Trust me. Good things happen everyday.
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