The Greatest Love Of All
I have a friend who constantly asserts that he is sick. He has been suffering from various uncomfortable body symptoms for years. The kinds of problem he has change a bit over the years, but there is always something.
"Could it be the symptom for this disease? Am I developing that disease?" he always wonders. There is no question that he has a bunch of unexplainable aches and pains. He has gone through all sorts of screening and many different tests, but the result always comes back negative. Still, he is very convinced that he must have some kind of hidden illness.
Those of us who know him well all feel that he is not sick. What he needs is not medications or medical procedures. What he needs is something else -- something much simpler, something basic . . .
Of late, my friend believes that he may have colon cancer despite the lab results that show otherwise. Needless to say, his wife is very troubled. Rather than worrying about his physical health, she is much more concerned about his emotional being. "Why would anybody act like he is yearning for being sick? Why does he keep insisting that he is ill???"
My friend is a rather passive person. I cannot even tell whether it is because he had been pushed around all his life and thus he lives this way, or if it is because he is a pushover by nature, and thus, like a big magnet, he attracts people to push on him. He got his first job right out of high school and worked there for 20 years. He resigned simply because he was moving abroad. Since then, he tends to stay with the same job until he gets mistreated by his employer to the extent that his wife cannot stand it and tells him to quit. He does not have much self confidence, nor does he have a good self image. He lives with a lot of anxiety and stress because he thinks very little of himself. He fears that other people may find that out about him.
From the little I know about Chinese medicine, all the issues that he has been having are typical symptoms of having extremely low ki. I believe that if my friend would exercise more, take things easier, try to expand his social circle and, thus, open up more, he would be much healthier and happier. His symptoms may all go away. Many of us have suggested that to him, but he is resistant to even giving it a try. What he has is not an illness of the body. It is an ailment of the mind.
To him, perhaps, it is easier to hear a diagnosis from a doctor which explains all his discomforts than to confront himself for his not having taken the best care of himself. You ask him to change his lifestyle. How? How does one do that? He is not a resourceful type. Who can he ask without revealing that he has a problem? What if he tries and fails? It would be discouraging and embarrassing. Wouldn't it be easier to have an illness to blame, and then ask someone to fix it for him once and for all?
It may sound crazy, but it is true. It is very, very sad.
"Could it be the symptom for this disease? Am I developing that disease?" he always wonders. There is no question that he has a bunch of unexplainable aches and pains. He has gone through all sorts of screening and many different tests, but the result always comes back negative. Still, he is very convinced that he must have some kind of hidden illness.
Those of us who know him well all feel that he is not sick. What he needs is not medications or medical procedures. What he needs is something else -- something much simpler, something basic . . .
Of late, my friend believes that he may have colon cancer despite the lab results that show otherwise. Needless to say, his wife is very troubled. Rather than worrying about his physical health, she is much more concerned about his emotional being. "Why would anybody act like he is yearning for being sick? Why does he keep insisting that he is ill???"
My friend is a rather passive person. I cannot even tell whether it is because he had been pushed around all his life and thus he lives this way, or if it is because he is a pushover by nature, and thus, like a big magnet, he attracts people to push on him. He got his first job right out of high school and worked there for 20 years. He resigned simply because he was moving abroad. Since then, he tends to stay with the same job until he gets mistreated by his employer to the extent that his wife cannot stand it and tells him to quit. He does not have much self confidence, nor does he have a good self image. He lives with a lot of anxiety and stress because he thinks very little of himself. He fears that other people may find that out about him.
From the little I know about Chinese medicine, all the issues that he has been having are typical symptoms of having extremely low ki. I believe that if my friend would exercise more, take things easier, try to expand his social circle and, thus, open up more, he would be much healthier and happier. His symptoms may all go away. Many of us have suggested that to him, but he is resistant to even giving it a try. What he has is not an illness of the body. It is an ailment of the mind.
To him, perhaps, it is easier to hear a diagnosis from a doctor which explains all his discomforts than to confront himself for his not having taken the best care of himself. You ask him to change his lifestyle. How? How does one do that? He is not a resourceful type. Who can he ask without revealing that he has a problem? What if he tries and fails? It would be discouraging and embarrassing. Wouldn't it be easier to have an illness to blame, and then ask someone to fix it for him once and for all?
It may sound crazy, but it is true. It is very, very sad.
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