Egg Of Fury
I recently encountered an older lady at an Aikido seminar who wears extensive protective covers over her hands and wrists. It turned out her hands and arms suffer from some permanent damage during Aikido practice. She told me she used to train with people who use a lot of brute force. It was so painful that, many times, she considered quitting.
I have a lot of sympathy for her because I also got hurt at Aikido many times when I was younger. My hands and wrists were wrapped and taped up to the extent that I looked like a crab. "If this is what Aikido means, there is no future for me," I thought. Fortunately, I found teachers who show me a different approach to Aikido and my life changed significantly for the better.
Interestingly, after practicing with her a few times, I find that she is actually rather forceful herself. She is much smaller than me, but she is quite strong. Just like many tiny women I have encountered, she is way stronger than she knows. Therefore, when paired up with bigger people, she overcompensates by using a lot of physical force. Honestly, people like that can inflict a lot of pain and even injuries on their partners without knowing.
We were supposed to be practicing gently with each other, but my partner was huffing and puffing while attempting to shove me around. Finally, I asked her, "Why are you so forceful? I thought you dislike it." Without thinking, she vociferated, "I am trying to change!" Meanwhile, she continued to shove me around the same old way. I could feel the frustrations and anger coming through from inside of her. I am sorry she harbors such emotions inside, but there is little I can do for her. Only she can help herself.
I am glad this lady is aware of the fact that she brute forces. I am even more glad that she is working on changing. She spent a number of years practicing Aikido in a forceful way. It will take time for her to get out of that habit. Physical movement is one thing; the healing of her heart is a longer and more complicated process. When she succeeds, it will be better for her Aikido. Certainly, it will make practicing with her more pleasant for her partners. Most importantly, it would be better for her body and her soul.
There is a Chinese saying: "Hitting a stone with an egg". If a stone hits and breaks an egg, one can say the stone is the assailant and the egg is the victim. Yet, if an egg goes after a stone and breaks, did the stone break the egg, or did the egg break itself?
I have a lot of sympathy for her because I also got hurt at Aikido many times when I was younger. My hands and wrists were wrapped and taped up to the extent that I looked like a crab. "If this is what Aikido means, there is no future for me," I thought. Fortunately, I found teachers who show me a different approach to Aikido and my life changed significantly for the better.
Interestingly, after practicing with her a few times, I find that she is actually rather forceful herself. She is much smaller than me, but she is quite strong. Just like many tiny women I have encountered, she is way stronger than she knows. Therefore, when paired up with bigger people, she overcompensates by using a lot of physical force. Honestly, people like that can inflict a lot of pain and even injuries on their partners without knowing.
We were supposed to be practicing gently with each other, but my partner was huffing and puffing while attempting to shove me around. Finally, I asked her, "Why are you so forceful? I thought you dislike it." Without thinking, she vociferated, "I am trying to change!" Meanwhile, she continued to shove me around the same old way. I could feel the frustrations and anger coming through from inside of her. I am sorry she harbors such emotions inside, but there is little I can do for her. Only she can help herself.
I am glad this lady is aware of the fact that she brute forces. I am even more glad that she is working on changing. She spent a number of years practicing Aikido in a forceful way. It will take time for her to get out of that habit. Physical movement is one thing; the healing of her heart is a longer and more complicated process. When she succeeds, it will be better for her Aikido. Certainly, it will make practicing with her more pleasant for her partners. Most importantly, it would be better for her body and her soul.
There is a Chinese saying: "Hitting a stone with an egg". If a stone hits and breaks an egg, one can say the stone is the assailant and the egg is the victim. Yet, if an egg goes after a stone and breaks, did the stone break the egg, or did the egg break itself?
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