The Wizard

During my recent visit to Hong Kong, I was astonished to learn that many of my friends are battling with cancer.  One of them is actually dealing with the relapse of her breast caner which she thought has gone.  Watching them go through these challenges gives me many thoughts and very complicated feelings.

I can sympathize with my friends because I have gone through a similar journey, only that I was much younger when it happened.  A younger body paired with youthful optimism makes everything easier to bear.  Plus, I was single.  I did not have a spouse and/ or children to worry about.  It is a very different thing for my friends who are in their middle age.

An Aikido brother has been diagnosed with rectal cancer.  I have always known him as a happy, chubby guy with a hearty laugh and a passion for good food and wine.  It breaks my heart to see him being so emaciated.  Luckily, he is a good candidate for target therapy.  Even better, the drugs seem to be working, even though it is taking a toll on him both physically and emotionally.  His enlarged liver has returned to normal size and has risen to the proper position.  Having good friends and family to support him by his side definitely helps.  Yet, the most important thing is that he is keeping a good spirit and is taking the treatment in stride.  It makes me happy to receive periodic updates from him about his treatment.  Our deal is that he will come see us next spring in Washington after he finishes his treatment.  I cannot wait to see him again.

Not everybody facing such challenge carry the same positive attitude, though.

A family friend who has esophagus cancer.is to start radiotherapy treatment soon.  However, she remains in denial and refuses to do anything to prepare herself for her new routine for the months to come.  Her adult children are more than willing to help her with everything she needs.  They gather together during the holiday to discuss about logistics and other arrangements. but they cannot move forward without their mother's involvement.  The entire family is wrapped in sadness and frustration.

My friend, Ed, who is in his 80s who has been quadriplegic since the age of 19.  He was a competitive swimmer then.  He had a freak accident at practice: the diving platform shifted as he pushed off.  He went straight down and hit the bottom of the swimming pool with his head.  Ed was a powerful big boy.  The force was enough to crush his neck vertebrae.  The doctors had to open up his neck to pick out bits and pieces of his broken neck bones.  Every doctor told his parents that their son would be bedridden forever.  After numerous operations and intense physical therapy, however, my dear friend managed to recover some of his movements.  He could walk with crutches.  He went on to get his college education, get a job, get married and has several children.  With his age, Ed  does not move as well as he did.  He needs a motor scooter when he goes out.  However, he can still wash, dress and feed himself.  He drives himself around in his car and he loves working in his garden.

As his wife puts it, Ed is the most positive and optimistic person.  Never for once has he blamed anybody or anything for his injury.  He has never been depressed or upset about his condition.  Instead, everyday, he looks up at the sky and says, "This is such a lovely day!" regardless of the weather.  He is a happy grandpa with a big bunch of grandchildren.  In a few days, Ed and his wife are going to take a cruise to Cuba.  He lives a full, happy life despite the "inconveniences" (as he likes to put it) everyday.  Ed decided long time ago that he will not let little things like this stop him from being happy.  "Look at me: I am still kicking!  I am alive!!!  Isn't it wonderful?" says Ed.

Ed is a tall man with a white, full beard.  When he walks with a long cane, he looks like "Gandalf" in The Lord of the Rings.  Like Gandalf, he makes what most people think impossible possible.  For that, I nicknamed him "The Wizard".  

Want some magical powers?  If you want, you can be a wizard, too.