The Aikido Sage

It was a sunny Saturday.  Five of our Aikido students took six tests.  They all did quite well.  Most students came to watch, to show support and to offer themselves as ukes.  After weeks of intense preparation, it seemed quite a relief to everyone that the event is over.  

As I believe, and always remind students that, Aikido grading is supposed to be an educational experience.  It is a time for the testees to show others -- and themselves -- what they can do and what they cannot do.  We are not seeking perfection.  It is more like taking periodic inventory.  Sometimes there are surprises: some things they thought they can do very well do not pan out at all.  There may also be things that students alway dread about, but they pull it off beautifully even under pressure.  Hopefully, everybody, including the instructors, learn something from the process.

During the post-test celebratory dinner, some students shared their feelings and insight. 

One student talked about the nature of Aikido learning:  Unlike regular education, there is no clear, set curriculum to follow in Aikido classes.  His wife came with him to try Aikido.  She likes very clear, definitive instructions and, thus, very clear parameters to measure if she does well or not.  Therefore, she did not find Aikido very satisfying.  

He, on the other hand, had learning experiences similar to Aikido in graduate school where things do not have one single clear path.  As he put it, "Aikido is not regurgitative style learning.  There is not necessarily something to figure out."  

With that experience in mind, he knew he had to give up the traditional mindset and just keep practicing and let things happen.  "In fact, if we were to have very recipe-like teaching, following a set playbook to cover a curriculum, rather than designing a class based on who are in attendance and how we are doing on that day, it would have been a boring experience." The student spoke with a very content and satisfied smile on his face.

There is a downside to not conducting classes based on an exam-based curriculum, though.  When testing is approaching, students may think, "OMG, I don't remember ever doing this?  How am I going to acquire these techniques all of a sudden and show them to the world?"  

While it is true that we may not have done the exact techniques during class, we have taught the entrances for the attacks while doing other techniques.  We also have taught students the principles they need in order to handle the test.  We just like to convey things to them in inconspicuous ways. 

Another student reflected on his test and concluded that he used too much force.  Also, he did not extend himself adequately, and he moved backwards too much.  As such, one of his ukes who towers over him became really hard to deal with.  

I can totally resonate with that.  I thought I was pretty good with my body movements, but the day after my 1st kyu test, I could not even bring my hands up to the table to eat.  My arms were so exhausted from pushing and pulling my partners that they were dead for days!

Someone who did not test but took ukemi for the 1st kyu test shared her insight: increasingly she can appreciate the ingenuity of Aikido moves and the principles behind how to carry oneself.  "I definitely have benefited from Aikido in my personal life and at work." 

She used the recent turmoil at her workplace to illustrate her point, "When the bosses scream at people in the office, it does not even fluster me a bit because I know to tell myself, 'Yeah, this is not pleasant, but it cannot kill me.  Just let them go.  I will live.'  It is akin to having someone swinging their arms in front of me, but they are no really hitting me.  It is annoying, but I don't have to do anything."  This young lady spoke calmly and collected like an Aikido sage.  It was really impressive.

Mike jumped in to ask, "Remember what you were like when you first came here?  Facing the same situation, what do you think that version of you would have done?"  

The newly minted Aikido Sage paused, chuckled, and then buried her face in her elbow on the table.  She laughed so hysterically that she could not even say one word.

As an ongoing joke, I teased, "Well, when she first came, she was too cool to talk to anybody.  She wouldn't even spare a smile . . ."  Aikido Sage sprung up to explain herself, "I know!!!  But it was because I was so insecure!"  

I love it when people are willing to reflect and self-critique.

Earlier that day, on our way to the dojo, Mike and I happened to have had a conversation in the car about lessons from Aikido. 

"To me, the most valuable thing about Aikido is that you get to experience being vulnerable a lot.   Most people have never experienced that.  Even if it happens, the normal reaction is to try to avoid it.  We fight that feeling and the situation because it makes us so uncomfortable.  But in Aikido, you learn to face it head on.  Not only do we learn to deal with it, but we learn to embrace it.  It can be scary and it exposes your insecurity.  Some people tried Aikido, but didn't like it because they could not deal with facing their true selves.  Looking at a genuine reflection of oneself can be too harsh a reality to take.

If you stick with it, however, through training, you learn to accept yourself -- both the good and the bad.  This way, you can continue to work on building a better version of yourself without judgement.  You earn the wisdom of "I don't know what is going to happen.  It is scary, but I will survive just fine."  That is the best education in the world.  Just because you are not afraid of being vulnerable, you have now become much less vulnerable as a person."