Waste Of Time
Do you have a hobby? What is it? Why do you do it? Are you good at it? Yes? No? Or, does it matter to you?
Like most parents, my hairdresser, Kelly, plays chauffeur for her kid after school. Several times a week, she takes her daughter to gymnastics. "It is so far away and the traffic is so bad at that time of the day. Plus, there is not enough parking. I really hate going there," Kelly groans. "Is your daughter good at it?" I try to find a different angle to the story. "No! Not at all!" Kelly gripes. "My daughter is terrible at it. She is a real klutz. Like me, she is very not coordinated. I have absolutely no hope that she accomplishes anything in gymnastics." Kelly pauses as a smile comes to her face, "I still let her go because she is so happy. I don't understand why. She is so bad at it, but she is just so happy every time we go. That means a lot to me."
Sadly, not many think like Kelly. The unfortunate reality is that most people praise talent more than effort. Our society values success more than courage. Think about how much it takes for an untalented person to strive to learn alongside talented people! The culture is such that kids are discouraged to try things that they do not already know they will be good at. They don't even want to take the risk of "not being good at it".
I know someone who used to practice Aikido. He is neither very talented nor very coordinated, but he tries very hard and is very diligent. "I don't think he has much future in Aikido. Look at him: even people with much less experienced can move better than him. He doesn't get it. Such a waste of time!" That was the conclusion by his spouse after watching him in class. She knows Aikido is very important to her husband. Yet, she fails to appreciate how much joy it provides him -- even though he is not good at it.
Honestly, among the Aikido crowd: How many of us are martial arts prodigies? Among us, who has the potential of becoming the next O Sensei? Anybody???
Hmm.
Does it mean we should also just pack up and go home? When is anything ever worth doing, then?
My teacher Baakari Wilder is a current generation master tap dancer. He started dancing when he was four years old. I once asked his mother how she cultivated this internationally renown dancer. She laughed and said, "I didn't really think about that. All I wanted is for him to socialize with kids his age. He was too quiet at home. So, I took him to the tap dance class at our nearby church. He seemed to enjoy it, so I let him continue."
Talking about young Baakari, his mama is very proud, "He was just a little boy. Yet, when the teacher asks and nobody is willing to go first, he was always the one who volunteers. He is such a brave soul!" She could have talked to me about the many awards Baakari received or how he landed the lead role in the Broadway musical "Bring In Da Noise, Bring In Da Funk" at a young age. Yet, to his mom, the most important things were his happiness and his character.
This mother definitely succeeded in getting what she cared the most. The rest, to her, is just added bonus.
Like most parents, my hairdresser, Kelly, plays chauffeur for her kid after school. Several times a week, she takes her daughter to gymnastics. "It is so far away and the traffic is so bad at that time of the day. Plus, there is not enough parking. I really hate going there," Kelly groans. "Is your daughter good at it?" I try to find a different angle to the story. "No! Not at all!" Kelly gripes. "My daughter is terrible at it. She is a real klutz. Like me, she is very not coordinated. I have absolutely no hope that she accomplishes anything in gymnastics." Kelly pauses as a smile comes to her face, "I still let her go because she is so happy. I don't understand why. She is so bad at it, but she is just so happy every time we go. That means a lot to me."
Sadly, not many think like Kelly. The unfortunate reality is that most people praise talent more than effort. Our society values success more than courage. Think about how much it takes for an untalented person to strive to learn alongside talented people! The culture is such that kids are discouraged to try things that they do not already know they will be good at. They don't even want to take the risk of "not being good at it".
I know someone who used to practice Aikido. He is neither very talented nor very coordinated, but he tries very hard and is very diligent. "I don't think he has much future in Aikido. Look at him: even people with much less experienced can move better than him. He doesn't get it. Such a waste of time!" That was the conclusion by his spouse after watching him in class. She knows Aikido is very important to her husband. Yet, she fails to appreciate how much joy it provides him -- even though he is not good at it.
Honestly, among the Aikido crowd: How many of us are martial arts prodigies? Among us, who has the potential of becoming the next O Sensei? Anybody???
Hmm.
Does it mean we should also just pack up and go home? When is anything ever worth doing, then?
My teacher Baakari Wilder is a current generation master tap dancer. He started dancing when he was four years old. I once asked his mother how she cultivated this internationally renown dancer. She laughed and said, "I didn't really think about that. All I wanted is for him to socialize with kids his age. He was too quiet at home. So, I took him to the tap dance class at our nearby church. He seemed to enjoy it, so I let him continue."
Talking about young Baakari, his mama is very proud, "He was just a little boy. Yet, when the teacher asks and nobody is willing to go first, he was always the one who volunteers. He is such a brave soul!" She could have talked to me about the many awards Baakari received or how he landed the lead role in the Broadway musical "Bring In Da Noise, Bring In Da Funk" at a young age. Yet, to his mom, the most important things were his happiness and his character.
This mother definitely succeeded in getting what she cared the most. The rest, to her, is just added bonus.
Comments
Post a Comment