Dandelions
I met John Marry during my visit to Burma in 2017. She was the fiancee of one of our local contacts, John, in Burma. I did not want to go sightseeing, and she had a day off. We ended up spending a whole day together.
Read [Namo Amida Butsu]
John Marry is a petite, cute and sweet young lady. She giggles easily at silly jokes. When I teased her, she would blush and bury her face in her tiny, little hands. She looked and acted no different from young women her age. However, the moment I touched her hands, I instantly felt a major difference: Her hands were very rough. For a split second, I was not sure how to react, but she already picked up on it. "Yeah, it's ok. I work, you know." Yes, I know. And that was what made my heart hurt.
John Marry's parents, her little sister and herself all worked overseas. Being the oldest kid, at a young age, she started working as a domestic helper in Singapore. According to John Marry, her employers treated her well. The grandma of the household was fond of her. Since she did a good job, on her days off, she got referrals to go to do side gigs for her employers' friends to earn extra money. "So that my little brothers can go to school. I really want them to get a good education and have a good future."
For almost seven days a week over who knows how many years, she has been taking care of her employers' family. She washes, she cooks and she cleans. She followed her parents' path, just like her little sister following her footsteps.
"Most of your family is working overseas in different locations. How often does the whole family get to get together?" It was a serious concern to me -- someone who grew up with my family around. To my surprise, John Marry laughed. "Mm, it's true. We don't get to see each other often. When was the last time, really?" she pondered. "I can't even remember. But when I work in Singapore, I try to see my sister when we have our days off together." Thank God she is such a cheerful and optimistic type. I don't think I can handle it that well.
There are thousands and thousands of domestic workers like John Marry and her family in Asia. Because of the difference in the structure of the economies and the living standards in different countries, many couples find it economically more beneficial to hire a foreign domestic helper to take care of their households and watch their children so that both the husband and wife may go to work.
The first generation of domestic workers arrived in Hong Kong from the Philippines over forty years ago. Babies that they helped raise are almost old enough to become grandparents. Many of those young women workers had university degrees. Yet, even with their education, they could not find work in the Philippines that paid as well as being a domestic worker in Hong Kong. So, they went across the ocean to live with and work for a strange family six days a week.
Many young ladies work for a certain number of years, then they return home to get marry and have children. Given they get room and board from their employers, they get to save up a large chunk of their salaries with which their families can build new houses. Yet, some, after their children are born, leave home again to return to their life of working overseas. Instead of hugging their own children, they are holding someone else's babies. Why? Money. Some domestic workers afford their family too good a lifestyle that nobody else in the family goes to work. The women are the family's sole source of income. They become the family ATM. It is a modern day version of slavery.
Some domestic workers, like John Marry, are lucky to land a job with a nice and kind family. Others are not as lucky. There have been numerous accounts of employers seriously mistreating their workers, although there have also been incidents of domestic workers who abuse babies and seniors. I can only imagine how stressful it must be working as a live-in worker who is on-call 24 hours a day, and have barely a day off each week.
A Hong Kong TV station once made a documentary series about the lives of foreign domestic workers. Some women fell prey to loan sharks because of financial problems back home and ended up being forced into prostitution. Many women felt extremely isolated. They could not talk to family or their boyfriends/ husbands back home about their problems. Nobody can understand them but fellow domestic workers in similar situations. These strangers in a strange place end up with homosexual relationships that they never thought they would have, These stories are more dramatic than soap operas, but they are real life stories.
My friend, John Marry, has since returned to Burma and married John. Their beautiful baby boy just came to this world less than a week ago. I wish them all the best and that the family will stay happily together for the longest time.
Read [Namo Amida Butsu]
John Marry is a petite, cute and sweet young lady. She giggles easily at silly jokes. When I teased her, she would blush and bury her face in her tiny, little hands. She looked and acted no different from young women her age. However, the moment I touched her hands, I instantly felt a major difference: Her hands were very rough. For a split second, I was not sure how to react, but she already picked up on it. "Yeah, it's ok. I work, you know." Yes, I know. And that was what made my heart hurt.
John Marry's parents, her little sister and herself all worked overseas. Being the oldest kid, at a young age, she started working as a domestic helper in Singapore. According to John Marry, her employers treated her well. The grandma of the household was fond of her. Since she did a good job, on her days off, she got referrals to go to do side gigs for her employers' friends to earn extra money. "So that my little brothers can go to school. I really want them to get a good education and have a good future."
For almost seven days a week over who knows how many years, she has been taking care of her employers' family. She washes, she cooks and she cleans. She followed her parents' path, just like her little sister following her footsteps.
"Most of your family is working overseas in different locations. How often does the whole family get to get together?" It was a serious concern to me -- someone who grew up with my family around. To my surprise, John Marry laughed. "Mm, it's true. We don't get to see each other often. When was the last time, really?" she pondered. "I can't even remember. But when I work in Singapore, I try to see my sister when we have our days off together." Thank God she is such a cheerful and optimistic type. I don't think I can handle it that well.
There are thousands and thousands of domestic workers like John Marry and her family in Asia. Because of the difference in the structure of the economies and the living standards in different countries, many couples find it economically more beneficial to hire a foreign domestic helper to take care of their households and watch their children so that both the husband and wife may go to work.
The first generation of domestic workers arrived in Hong Kong from the Philippines over forty years ago. Babies that they helped raise are almost old enough to become grandparents. Many of those young women workers had university degrees. Yet, even with their education, they could not find work in the Philippines that paid as well as being a domestic worker in Hong Kong. So, they went across the ocean to live with and work for a strange family six days a week.
Many young ladies work for a certain number of years, then they return home to get marry and have children. Given they get room and board from their employers, they get to save up a large chunk of their salaries with which their families can build new houses. Yet, some, after their children are born, leave home again to return to their life of working overseas. Instead of hugging their own children, they are holding someone else's babies. Why? Money. Some domestic workers afford their family too good a lifestyle that nobody else in the family goes to work. The women are the family's sole source of income. They become the family ATM. It is a modern day version of slavery.
Some domestic workers, like John Marry, are lucky to land a job with a nice and kind family. Others are not as lucky. There have been numerous accounts of employers seriously mistreating their workers, although there have also been incidents of domestic workers who abuse babies and seniors. I can only imagine how stressful it must be working as a live-in worker who is on-call 24 hours a day, and have barely a day off each week.
A Hong Kong TV station once made a documentary series about the lives of foreign domestic workers. Some women fell prey to loan sharks because of financial problems back home and ended up being forced into prostitution. Many women felt extremely isolated. They could not talk to family or their boyfriends/ husbands back home about their problems. Nobody can understand them but fellow domestic workers in similar situations. These strangers in a strange place end up with homosexual relationships that they never thought they would have, These stories are more dramatic than soap operas, but they are real life stories.
My friend, John Marry, has since returned to Burma and married John. Their beautiful baby boy just came to this world less than a week ago. I wish them all the best and that the family will stay happily together for the longest time.
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