Anyone Else But You

"When they were little, my kids looked like mixed kids.  They were so pretty, so cute.," recounted my friend, Angela.  "Some people mistakenly thought I mingled with some westerner to end up kids like them.  Why would I do that?" she said with disdain.  

"True.  You wouldn't do that.  Only people like me would."  I said.  Angela suddenly realized what she had said and started apologizing profusely.  I just smiled.  

Angela knows Mike and seems to like him.  As a matter of fact, one of her sons married a Hispanic woman.  The couple have several lovely children with blonde hair.  Yet, inside of her, Angela still harbors prejudice against interracial relationships.

I consider us lucky because our families on both sides do not seem to have issues with our relationship.  I never asked for my parents for approval because I assume that if it is okay with me, it would be okay with them.  Both Mike and I have pretty good relationships with our in-laws.

Almost thirty years ago, when we first started seeing each other, people used to stare when we strolled down the streets in the Midwest hand in hand.  A lot of it, I suppose, had to do with the lack of non-caucasian faces among the population.  

After we got married, my in-laws threw a reception to our honor at their house.  The catering staff arrived early to prepare for the event.  I waved at them and said hi, but received no reciprocation.  Later on, after we were all dressed up, my in-laws formally introduced us to the staff.  It was only then when these people realized they were catering for our party.  They buried their faces deep into their chests . . .

During one visit to Hong Kong, I went to see a friend of my mother with her.  The friend seemed to be very curious about my relationship and asked many questions.  "Hey, how does it feel having a foreigner for son-in-law?" the friend turned to my mother.  

"Why does it matter?  Who cares where he comes from?  He eats and sleeps like you and me.  The most important thing is that he loves my daughter and treats her well.  I can't believe it.  How can you ask such ignorant questions?" my mother was livid.  

"Mama, people can be curious.  It's okay.  There is no need to get so upset . . ." I tried to calm her down.  

My mother brushed off my hand on her shoulder.  "Hey! You don't understand.  Everybody may ask such questions, but not her!"  I was dumbstruck.  "You gotta know: her daughter married a Japanese!  So, tell me: how does it feel having a Japanese for son-in-law???" 

The friend let out a nervous laugh in embarrassment.

Oh, mama.  How I love my Mama.