There

Every January, Aikido people are all eager to check out the Hombu Dojo list of promotion by recommendation.  This year, Mike got promoted to 6th dan and many friends and acquaintances sent their congratulations.  

Beyond a certain rank, promotion is by recommendation rather than a physical test because you are supposed to be able to handle standard attacks with variations of all the standard techniques.  Such promotions, often times, have more to do with a student's contribution to and his support for the Aikido community than his technical advancement.  Needless to say, politics plays a role as well.

To Aikido students, part of the learning experience is grading.  The grading curriculum sets the benchmarks for the kind of skills that students are supposed to know along their journey.  The system is supposed to be a motivational mechanism that acknowledges students' efforts   Some people are rather enthusiastic about testing.  Others, myself included, dreaded having to stand out there in front of a crowd to perform various techniques as my teachers call them out.  

Many fellow Aikido students do special practice to prepare for tests.  It has never worked for me.  I have never been the type who can cram for a test.  Before my shodan test, some dojo friends invited me to have preparation sessions together.  I went once.  My friends were curious of why I stopped showing up after that.  To tell you the truth, the cramming actually stresses me out and makes things worse.  "If all the years of practice preceding to this test are not enough to prepare me for it, I don't think a few extra hours would make any difference."  That was the last time I practiced for a test.  

Endo Sensei once told the story of him being congratulated by a student for his 8th dan promotion.  He asked the student why he was so excited about the news.  "Aren't you be happy to be promoted?" the student asked.  Endo Sensei responded, "A promotion is only a promotion.  Before I become a better person, my Aikido is not going to become better."  

I cannot agree more with Endo Sensei.  I was confused and depressed after my shodan test because, after so much anticipation, I got my black belt, but my Aikido was still as unimpressive as it was before.  The test did not help anything at all.  With time, I realize that ranking is not even necessarily a good indicator of one's proficiency.  Ranking, ultimately, is just a mirage.  The only thing that really matters is the practice itself.

Once upon a time, to my eyes, what my teachers and senior students did was like magic.  Where they were seemed so distant and unreachable.  I never thought I would have stayed this long and made it this far in Aikido.  I was so clumsy and not talented.  I used to have a very hard time retaining what I saw in a demo.  I have trouble remembering sequences.  The moment I got up to pair up with someone, everything I thought I saw vaporized into thin air.  I could not even recall what attack it was, let alone what technique to do in response and how to do it.  I could barely tell left from right, and I found it impossible to remember all the Japanese terminologies.  Yet, I persisted and I am still here.

The late Kenneth Cottier Sensei used to say: "Do not worry about whether you will get a black belt.  You will, as long as you keep practicing." 

Gambatte.  Keep refining your skills and polishing your mind.  You will get there, wherever you want "there" to be.