"I Don't Want It Anymore!"

The vegetable growing season is here again.  Like most gardeners, I have been busily cleaning up the garden, starting seeds and planning about where to plant what.  With a home garden, not only do we get to pick the assortment of vegetables and the varieties that we enjoy, it also saves me from a lot of grocery shopping.  For someone who grew up hungry, having a veggie garden in the backyard is an indulgence at many levels.

As it is often the case, when the best of the main crop is ripe in August, it is time to go to Summer Camp and to see family in Michigan.  I often make arrangements for students to come pick tomatoes and other vegetables to share among themselves.  Last year, for a change, we had a house sitter.  While we were away, we told him, he could help himself to anything in the house and from the garden.  

Upon our return, I was shocked to find beautiful tomatoes in the compost bucket.  These fruits were huge and plump.  I could not see anything wrong with them.  Why were they thrown out???  The reason: There are brown dots on the skin of these very ripe fruit.  I looked at my prized tomatoes -- now covered with insect larvae, I was speechless.

It was frustrating to me because the motivation behind inviting this friend to housesit was for him to have a change of scenes and to enjoy the fresh veggies right from our garden.  Looking at the amount of food he had thrown out, I really wish I had contacted my Master Gardener friends to come harvest things to donate to the Food Bank.

I share the sad story wth my sister.  She lamented, "Yeah, my coworkers also casually throw out food all the time.  I guess it is a cultural thing."

The first time I came from France to visit him in the US, Mike warned me not to eat "French style", meaning finishing my meal with my plate absolutely clean.  "It's considered rude."  I was perplexed.  "People would think you were so hungry that you have to wipe up every single bit," he explained.  To the contrary, in France, cleaning the plate was what everybody does.  It is an act of appreciation of the food and to be not wasteful.  

I have a friend who I have a hard time understanding.  When we went out to eat, the server asked him what sides he wanted.  He ordered fries and green beans.  He ate his meat, most of the fries but never touched the green beans.  "Are you done?  You still have some green beans." I asked.   "Bleh!  I am not eating them.  I don't want green beans."  He stuck out his tongue with a pout.  Really?  Then why did you ask for them?  Have something else that you like better, or maybe just tell them you only want fries.  Why order something for it to be thrown out?  I am mystified.  

Many times, people seem to really enjoyed their food.  But then, when the server offered them a box to take the leftover home, they turn it down without hesitation, "I don't want it anymore."  Again, I do not understand: A moment ago, you were just hailing how good the food was.  What has changed??

Raised in Hong Kong, we were taught in school that we should not leave even one grain of rice in our rice bowl.  "Every grain of rice is the effort of a farmer for an entire year," our teacher explained.  At a time when the general standard of living was not high, food was hard to come by.  It was critical to teach children to appreciate everything we had and to reduce waste.  Now that I grow food at home, I have even deeper appreciation for that teaching.

People who grew up hungry have a very different relationship with food.  My mom was poor for most of her life.  Like many mothers, she used to peck at whatever was left on the table after her kids were done eating.  As my mother gets older, her appetite has shrunken significantly.  When we go out to eat, nowadays, she cannot finish the large portion that is offered in most restaurants.  "Don't try to finish everything," my brother advised her.  "Wasting it is better than wasting you, Mother."  She has since learnt not to stuff herself, but she has also learned to always bring a box to take leftovers home.  

The US is a rich, developed country.  While many people have way more than enough, some are scraping to get by.  Hunger is still a threat to many.  "Do those of us who get to eat fully appreciate how lucky we are?" I often wonder.  Imagine: Everybody tries living off minimum wage for a week, or working on a farm for a month.  I bet people would not look at food the same way anymore.