A Bowl Of Hot Soup

When I was under Takeguchi Sensei's tutelage, I would ask Sensei to come to my rescue when I became stuck.  It felt like my partners were so stiff and difficult.  They resisted my every move and refused to take ukemi.  Whatever I did, they just blocked me.  It was so frustrating.

But then, the moment my partners were touching Sensei, they became so easygoing.  They fell down swiftly like an autumn leaf.  "See?  It is not so hard.  What was the problem?" Sensei often asked.  I did not say anything. Yet, inside, I thought to myself, "No, Sensei.  That was not how they behaved before you came over!  They were never that compliant with me."  I was almost certain that people were being cooperative because the teacher was around.  How can I explain to my teacher the obstacles I was encountering?  He just does not understand what I am facing.  Argh!

Years have gone by, and now I am someone else's instructor . . . 

As grading is coming up, there has been more intense training at the dojo among students.  Many times I saw scenes that seem awfully familiar:  The nage is working so hard, so eager to get the uke to move the way they want.  Unfortunately, the harder they try, the more they want to make something happen, the faster does the situation go south.  When emotions run amok, strange things happen and nothing goes the way people anticipated.  

Years ago, during a class she taught in DC, Fran Turner Sensei said, "If you find your partners stressed and stiff, it is because you gave your stress and stiffness to them.  So, don't stress, and don't be stiff.  When people are not stressed and stiff, it is easier for them to move with you."  There is a lot of wisdom in her teaching.  After all, in life, isn't people's response to us often a reflection of how we treat them?

On the Aikido mat, if we shove hard at our partners, to preserve themselves, even the nicest partner has no choice but to stiffen up in order to counter our force.  Once they start pushing back, their feet are stuck in place.  It becomes a stalemate. 

As Takeguchi Sensei puts it: "Action and Reaction".  If you do not wish a forceful reaction back from your partner, to start, do not send a forceful action towards your partner.  What goes around, comes around.  If nages would just focus on moving themselves, and let ukes move along, everything will be just fine.

Many years ago, my dizi (Chinese bamboo flute) teacher Ken Wu taught me the concept of 平常心 (loosely translated as "the normal mind").  He used this analogy: You have to carry a very full bowl of very hot soup from the kitchen to the table.  If you are all stressed and do it with tightened muscles and eyes staring hard at the bowl, you are bound to spill the soup all over the place.  But you may not take this task lightly because the piping hot soup may burn you if you spill it.  So, how should you deal with the situation?  The best approach is to be cautious, but stay calm and act as normally as possible.  Hold the bowl firmly with both hands, look straight ahead, walk the way you normally would with a good posture.  

In the end, a bowl of hot soup, Aikido and life are not so different.