The Way To Freedom

Endo Sensei once said, "Aikido is freedom."

At our Saturday after-practice dinner, there was a discussion about the different teaching styles of our dojo instructors.  Mike and I followed up by asking what people like or don't like, and if there are things that they find particularly helpful that we should do more.  

Recently, I have been encouraging students to imagine being a superhero so as to experience how much control and freedom they actually possess.  Maybe because of that, a student said he would like to do more about learning how to find one's freedom.

A conversation with him on the subject ensued.  

Me:  So, you don't feel you are free on the mat?  When does that happen?

S:  When someone is grabbing onto me from above.

Me:  That is how we teach people to grab because it is a strong grip.  If that is the case, wouldn't that mean every time someone holds your wrist, you feel you lose your freedom?

S:  Some grips are worse than others.

Me:  But even when someone is holding your wrist, you still have a lot of options.  Remember the concept of Infinity Minus One?  All you have to do is to avoid their line of strength.

Read [Infinity Minus One]

S:  But it is not always obvious where I can go . . . 

Of course, it can be a matter of the technical level of the student.  However, it can also be a reflection of the place he is at in his life.  After all, it is not so unusual that people play out their real life issues on the Aikido mat.  Recently, he has been getting himself stuck by running into his partners' strength.  From my observation, it looks like he has been gathering all of himself, packing everything tight around a solid center and then charges at his partners.  Over and over again.

The ability to find one's center and consolidate everything around it does make one feel so strong and powerful.  You almost feel like you just turned into a human atomic bomb that is capable of taking anything out.  It can be so appealing.  

I can relate because I have done that before.  

While charging at your partner (particularly when you are aligned with their line of strength) may offer a very strong sense of the connection of the centers of the parties, it tends to result in a deadlock.  You seriously crash into a wall at full speed and then wonder to yourself, "What happened?"  At the end, you realize that, being a human atomic bomb means you have become a suicide bomber.  You are not necessarily changing anything.  You are just killing yourself.

My teacher, Takeguchi Sensei likes to recount stories from his Aikido journey.  One time, he shared his experience about teaching Aikido seminars to unfamiliar audiences.  

"It is easy to toss my own students around because I know them so well: I know how they move, how they fall and how they react to things.  But I don't always bring my students with me to seminars.  Plus, it is good to use people from the audience.  Many times, there are these huge guys who look at what I do and doubt if it works.  So, if I can move them, it will help convince them and others in the class."

Indeed, given Takeguchi Sensei is even smaller than me, what he does can seem like magic tricks that are hard to believe.

"When I first started teaching seminars, sometimes even I had doubts if I can move these people.  But then, I told myself, 'Hey, even though I don't know what techniques I can do with them, I can at least do basic body movements!'  So, I would invite these big guys to come grab me.  I had no idea what I was going to do.  I just start with one of the basic body movements as entrance.  Once they react to it, then I can see the next opening.  I follow the opening to make my next move.  One step at a time, I end up doing a technique."  

I shared this story with my student:  Just like in life, it may be hard to see what is all the way down the road before you make your first step.  You just have to have faith in yourself and do your best move from wherever you are at, and then see what happens and adjust along the way.  

Freedom does not come from a lack of uncertainty on the outside.  Freedom stems from your willingness to adjust and the faith you have in yourself from the inside.  

Look no further.  The answer is within you.