Sunny Side Up

A student has a distinct kamae that did not come from us.  Habitually, he holds his hands up with stiff, rotated wrists, and holds his shoulders down hard and tight.  It looks fierce.  However, he tips over the moment I push him.  

He protested when I told him to stop doing that superfluous form.  "But I want to be strong!  If I don't do this, what do I do?"

To demonstrate my point, I stood there casually and asked him to push me over.  He tried, but he could not.  Then I imitated his stance.  With one easy shove, he made me stumble in an instant.  I looked at him. 🤷  

More than one time, I pointed this out to the student.  All I got from him were nervous laughs.  Nothing changed.

"I don't understand.  My arms are just stiff like this," he exclaimed.  "I don't know what else to do."  He went on to shake his arms forcefully, as if that would solve his problem.

"Stop doing that.  This is is not going to help.  It would only wire you up." I pleaded. "The problem is not with your arms."

I reminded him of Endo Sensei's teaching: Stiffness in the body comes from stiffness in the mind.

Student went 😳.  

Looking at this funny young man, I was speechless.

The interaction with this student made me think of my teacher's advice to a sempai years ago:  "True strength should come from a solid center and be extended to the outside.   What you are doing is different.  You are putting up a stiff shell on the outside with nothing inside.  Kinda like an eggshell.  But that is false strength.  An eggshell is very fragile.  Once it cracks, you have no way of defending yourself." 

At the time, I was still new to Aikido.  The comment was fascinating to me.  I did not know there is such a thing as superficial strength vs true strength.  I had no idea what they feel like, let alone how to differentiate between them.  Everybody seemed strong and my sempai was impressive -- compared to me.  Yet, I remember my teacher's words and thought I may one day find out what it means.

Like myself, the recipient of the comment is still sticking around.  Life is not always kind.  We all have our share of ups and downs.  Over the years, I got to witness how my sempai weathered the storms just like how he watched me struggled my struggles.  Like with his Aikido, my sempai braved his way through life with an eggshell for a facade.  Being older and more experienced, the difference is that he has learnt to hide behind a more sophisticated, stiffer shell.  Still, an eggshell is an eggshell regardless.  To people who have known him for long enough, and anybody who has sufficient life experience, in him, we see a watery egg yolk washing around in thin egg whites . . . 

"Stiffness in the body comes from stiffness in the mind." 

Apparently, fragility in the body also comes from fragility in the mind.  

Noting the cracks all over this aged eggshell, I surmise that it may eventually fail . . .  

I cannot help wondering: Is there anything one can do to preserve an egg and keep it intact after its shell falls apart?