I Am A Rock
At the dojo, there is a male student of whom I have never seen a smile. He comes quietly and leaves alone. He seldom chats with other students. On occasion he talks with people, but it is almost strictly about Aikido and nothing else. The way he carries himself projects a rather macho, tough image.
When you pair up with him, this quality becomes even more apparent. When he is the nage, he is always very forceful, almost insisting that the partner falls. When he is the uke, he attacks in such a defensive manner that you feels like you are dealing with a statue. He brings no momentum to his partners. If he holds your wrist, he just gives you a death grip so you cannot move your hand. It feels more like being chained by a shackle than being held by a human being. He is so rigid and stiff that it is almost impossible for his partners to apply any technique on him. Needless to say, he rejects the idea of falling down. At all cost, he would resist going down on the mat.
I have seen students avoid pairing up with him by turning the other way as soon as the demo is over. I have also had people come up to me to ask what they can do with this person because they find it extremely difficult and unpleasant to practice with him.
"He is always so tough and strong. I can't match that," a rather small student once commented.
Maybe that is what that student is trying to project as his image, but I see a very different picture.
I have observed this person in various occasions. I see a grown man acting like the child standing by the sideline watching other kids play, but does not dare to jump in and join them. He looks like a child who has heard all kinds of fun things about visiting the Haunted House, and really wonders what it is like inside. Yet, he is too afraid to try because the Haunted House looks really scary from the outside. While his friends are having fun, he stands at the entrance holding onto the door handle, trying to sneak a peek. Deep inside, he may wish to be part of the fun, but he is just too proud to admit it, too shy to open up and too scared to show his true self.
From the things this student is willing to talk about, I can tell he is fascinated by martial arts. He admires the power unleashed through great techniques. Unfortunately, the inevitable vulnerability of being the uke is prohibiting him from enjoying a full-blown Aikido experience.
I wish so much there were a way for me to tell to him how interesting it is to visit the "Aikido Haunted House". For him to find out, the only way is to take a guided tour. And the only person who can be his guide is a nage. If he can trust and follow his partner into the "Aikido Haunted House", he may be able to overcome the scary appearance of the Haunted House, and experience how peaceful and serene it actually is in the center of the House.
I wish there were more I can do for him. However, before this student can summon his courage to take a tour of the "Haunted House", I am afraid he will continue to be stuck in his own little prison of fear.
When you pair up with him, this quality becomes even more apparent. When he is the nage, he is always very forceful, almost insisting that the partner falls. When he is the uke, he attacks in such a defensive manner that you feels like you are dealing with a statue. He brings no momentum to his partners. If he holds your wrist, he just gives you a death grip so you cannot move your hand. It feels more like being chained by a shackle than being held by a human being. He is so rigid and stiff that it is almost impossible for his partners to apply any technique on him. Needless to say, he rejects the idea of falling down. At all cost, he would resist going down on the mat.
I have seen students avoid pairing up with him by turning the other way as soon as the demo is over. I have also had people come up to me to ask what they can do with this person because they find it extremely difficult and unpleasant to practice with him.
"He is always so tough and strong. I can't match that," a rather small student once commented.
Maybe that is what that student is trying to project as his image, but I see a very different picture.
I have observed this person in various occasions. I see a grown man acting like the child standing by the sideline watching other kids play, but does not dare to jump in and join them. He looks like a child who has heard all kinds of fun things about visiting the Haunted House, and really wonders what it is like inside. Yet, he is too afraid to try because the Haunted House looks really scary from the outside. While his friends are having fun, he stands at the entrance holding onto the door handle, trying to sneak a peek. Deep inside, he may wish to be part of the fun, but he is just too proud to admit it, too shy to open up and too scared to show his true self.
From the things this student is willing to talk about, I can tell he is fascinated by martial arts. He admires the power unleashed through great techniques. Unfortunately, the inevitable vulnerability of being the uke is prohibiting him from enjoying a full-blown Aikido experience.
I wish so much there were a way for me to tell to him how interesting it is to visit the "Aikido Haunted House". For him to find out, the only way is to take a guided tour. And the only person who can be his guide is a nage. If he can trust and follow his partner into the "Aikido Haunted House", he may be able to overcome the scary appearance of the Haunted House, and experience how peaceful and serene it actually is in the center of the House.
I wish there were more I can do for him. However, before this student can summon his courage to take a tour of the "Haunted House", I am afraid he will continue to be stuck in his own little prison of fear.
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