You Know, I Do Understand.
When I first started teaching, I was like an oversized keyboard. There were so many buttons one could push on me. Over the years, students have tamed me so well. Yet, there are still three lines that do not sit well with me.
Feather Ruffler #1 -- "I know, I know"
It happens often when someone comes to me to ask for advice. It also happens when I try to correct someone in Aikido class. Before I can finish, they would say in a dull, draggy voice, "I knowww, I knowww . . ."
You know? What do you know? Do you really know? Then why did you ask me??? In case of an Aikido student, if you know, why don't you do it?? Do you really know? You mean, you intentionally do something different? Why? What the heck?
In either situation, this kind of response makes me feel kind of helpless. THEY ALREADY KNOW! If you don't know, at least I can tell you something new. But you keep telling me you know. Now, what else can I tell you?
Feather Ruffler #2 -- "I don't know"
You may think I am simply hard to please. I don't like it when people say they know. And it gets on my nerves when they say they don't know. What do I want people to say?
So, let me clarify: the version of "I don't know" that I do not enjoy hearing is usually slurred out as something akin to "Uh unno"
The slimy demeanor and the "I can't care less" attitude that comes across with this line is so immense that it overcomes me every time. I do not have a lot of residual youth left in me anymore. Tell me why am I wasting my time here???
Feather Ruffler #3 -- "You don't understand!"
As the famous saying goes, "If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging." Sometimes people come to me to talk about their situations. It sounds as if they wish to get some sympathy as well as a little advice. So, I, the dumb friend, would try to offer suggestions. More often than not, to every suggestion I offer, they would say, "You don't understand!"
I try to point out different doors to them, but people always tell me all kinds of reasons why the doors are no good, or that they cannot go through those doors. Even if I manage to open a door for them, they would quickly rush to slam it shut. In addition they would put a cabinet plus a piano in front of it to make sure it cannot be opened again. As a result, all doors are sealed shut. They can, then, comfortably stay in the hole to lament that they are in a hole.
Do I not understand? I think I do. Almost too well.
When I hear these three lines, I know people's ears are shut. They are not listening, and there is no way I can get anything across. No matter how much I love them as a friend or as a student, there is nothing I can do to help.
As a person, I have learnt: You cannot change somebody else. The only person who can change him is him.
If you are ever that person, even though I love you, the only person who can change you is you. Please help me help you.
Feather Ruffler #1 -- "I know, I know"
It happens often when someone comes to me to ask for advice. It also happens when I try to correct someone in Aikido class. Before I can finish, they would say in a dull, draggy voice, "I knowww, I knowww . . ."
You know? What do you know? Do you really know? Then why did you ask me??? In case of an Aikido student, if you know, why don't you do it?? Do you really know? You mean, you intentionally do something different? Why? What the heck?
In either situation, this kind of response makes me feel kind of helpless. THEY ALREADY KNOW! If you don't know, at least I can tell you something new. But you keep telling me you know. Now, what else can I tell you?
Feather Ruffler #2 -- "I don't know"
You may think I am simply hard to please. I don't like it when people say they know. And it gets on my nerves when they say they don't know. What do I want people to say?
So, let me clarify: the version of "I don't know" that I do not enjoy hearing is usually slurred out as something akin to "Uh unno"
The slimy demeanor and the "I can't care less" attitude that comes across with this line is so immense that it overcomes me every time. I do not have a lot of residual youth left in me anymore. Tell me why am I wasting my time here???
Feather Ruffler #3 -- "You don't understand!"
As the famous saying goes, "If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging." Sometimes people come to me to talk about their situations. It sounds as if they wish to get some sympathy as well as a little advice. So, I, the dumb friend, would try to offer suggestions. More often than not, to every suggestion I offer, they would say, "You don't understand!"
I try to point out different doors to them, but people always tell me all kinds of reasons why the doors are no good, or that they cannot go through those doors. Even if I manage to open a door for them, they would quickly rush to slam it shut. In addition they would put a cabinet plus a piano in front of it to make sure it cannot be opened again. As a result, all doors are sealed shut. They can, then, comfortably stay in the hole to lament that they are in a hole.
Do I not understand? I think I do. Almost too well.
When I hear these three lines, I know people's ears are shut. They are not listening, and there is no way I can get anything across. No matter how much I love them as a friend or as a student, there is nothing I can do to help.
As a person, I have learnt: You cannot change somebody else. The only person who can change him is him.
If you are ever that person, even though I love you, the only person who can change you is you. Please help me help you.
Comments
Post a Comment