Be A Villager

Sometimes, on the Aikido mat, people who are normally nice and gentle may suddenly become awfully resistant and stubborn.  They refuse to move and act like super control freaks.  "What happened to these, otherwise, sweet souls that I thought I know?"

"When people feel like they lose control in their lives, they act it out on the mat." Takeguchi Sensei once commented.  I spent many years trying to prove my teacher wrong.  So far, not much luck. 

It has been months since the outbreak of COVID 19 in the US.  Scientists have already loads of evidence showing that mask-wearing is an effective way of curbing the spread of the virus.  Yet, there are still many people who refuse to wear a face mask.  It is a small deed with tremendous benefit.  If we all take all the precautions religiously, we can possibly end the pandemic much sooner.  Why do people resist the idea so vigorously?  Don't they want to return to their normal life?  I really could not understand.

Then, I came across the following article.

Read [The Psychology Behind Why Some People Refuse To Wear Face Masks]

Experts cited several possible reasons for people to reject face masks.  The one that I did not expect is that, at times of so much uncertainty, when people feel so powerless over the future, some people see their refusal to wear a face mask as "a modicum of control".  I was stunned.  To me, the choice of wearing a mask is a constructive act of seeking control.  Why would anybody seek control by not wearing a mask, possibly exposing oneself and others to more risk???  

Of late, a coworker of Mike has been behaving way out of normal.  The lady has always been rather territorial and controlling, but her recent behavior has reached new record high:  She insists to be involved in way more projects than she can handle, and she repeatedly misses deadlines over deadlines.  Despite her coworkers' appeals, she holds on to projects to overwork them as if she does not want them to see sunlight.  It really put people who collaborate with her in a very bad position.  I feel sorry for Mike.

This woman has always been a reactive type.  Mindfulness is not her thing.  I strongly suspect that she is not aware of her behavior.  "What if she is acting out the lack of control in her personal life in her work life?" I suggest.  She has two kids who are still in school -- one abroad, one locally.  Should she let them return to school?  Will it be safe for her child to fly overseas?  Will the kid be able to take good enough care of himself?  Being a mother, she must be quite stressed out over concerns for her children already, set aside the other regular stress factors plus COVID 19.  The unfortunate thing is that her coworkers become the innocent victims in this situation . . .

And you?  How are you doing?  Are you feeling okay?  Is something troubling you?  If you do, consider  talking to somebody about it.  Please remember that many people are there for you.  You do not have to carry everything on your own shoulders.  Your family and friends love you.  If you need help, please let them share the burden.

If you are doing well, please consider reaching out to people you know to make sure they are well.  "It takes a village to raise a child."  But the child still needs the village after he grows up.  Lend a helping hand.  Take care of each other.  Be a fellow villager.