Forest Management

If our heart is a forest, anger has to be a fire.

Even a natural forest can use some care from time to time.  Yet some people never attend to their internal forest.  All kinds of seeds are allowed to take root and grow wild.  They never nourish or even water their trees.  Their trees become weak and dehydrated.  As soon as the temperature rises, it takes only one single little spark to light up the abundant dead vegetation sitting around.  Before you know it, the entire forest is ablaze.  

I recently got back in touch with a friend who used to be angry about everything.  He is now living in a small house in Kansas all by himself.  After many years together, his wife filed for divorce.  Even his sweet daughters did not want live with him.  "I finally understand," he said.  "I always thought it was her.  Actually it was me."  I could hear the catch in his throat.  "You know, I was so stressed out that I could not see what I was doing to them.  I was angry.  I bitched about everything and I yelled at them all the time.  I can't blame them.  By the time I realized it, it was too late."

Even animals flee from a wild fire.  Apparently my friend's wild fire not only forced away his family, but it also burnt him quite badly. 

The scariest kind of fire, however, involves backdraft.  The phenomenon is a rapid or explosive burning of superheated gasses in a fire, as oxygen suddenly enters an oxygen-depleted environment.  Human backdraft happens in certain quiet, soft-spoken people.

Before a backdraft occurs, on the outside, everything seems so quiet.  Nothing conspicuous at all.  Although these folks are actually very strong-willed and highly opinionated, they always seem too shy to express their thoughts, and lack the confidence to take center stage even when given the opportunity.  While they appear to be easygoing pushovers in public, they tend to pull passively aggressive tricks secretly.  Unless you know the right signs to look for, you would never suspect that something has been seriously burning inside of them.  

I have encountered quite a few backdraft folks.  I am close enough to them to feel the heat that has built up inside the walls.  I always wonder how I can help them.  "Why would they rather be constantly burning inside intensely than to find ways of putting out that fire?" As much as they try to hide or deny it, I can see them suffering.

Many of these people were raised in such a way that they were never encouraged to fully experience their emotions.  What will happen if they allow themselves to be angry?  They have no idea because they have never done it before.  Wouldn't it be risky to allow it to be on full display in front of others when they are afraid of surprising themselves?  After all, to put out the fire for good, you must first open up.  Opening up means letting air in.  Once air comes it, there is the risk of a giant backdraft explosion . . . .   I can see why this is a scary proposition.

Hill fires happen and are hard to avoid.  Sparks and kindling material are in abundance in nature.  One may argue that it is actually healthy to have small hill fires every now and then to clear unwanted undergrowth out of the forest.  Sometimes, the ashes from such fire can end up supporting the trees to grow stronger.