The Pledge of Allegiance

I texted with my dear friend, Sue, on Christmas Eve.  I thought she might be cooking up a storm already.  Surprisingly, she told me, "Quiet day tomorrow and then cooking a turkey for Boxing Day."  

Oh.  That's interesting.  How come?  Sue explains, "The kids are with their dad and grandparents tomorrow.  They will come here the following day."

Both in Hong Kong and in the US, I know all too many couples who have to rush from one family holiday gathering to another on the same day in order to please their parents.  In some unfortunate situations, there are three or even four gatherings with all their parents all on the same day.  There is no way they can make an appearance in all gatherings.  The young couple has to decide on who to disappoint and take the heat afterwards . . .

"The baby is 21 now.  We’ve got it all sorted out," Sue said.  

I always like Sue being an understanding and reasonable person.  "It will be bad if the kids have to go to two places in one day and cannot really enjoy the holiday at either place," I said.

"Exactly!" Sue responded. "So, for me the Boxing Day thing works perfectly.  I am not that concerned about the day as long as I get to spend time with them."

I have actually witnessed someone wrestle her kids to go to her house on Christmas day.  Breakfast?  No way.  Lunch?  Not good enough.  Even early supper is not acceptable.  It has to be dinner, and then stay to hang out for the rest of the evening.  It is the holy grail.  Guilt tripping, menacing, shaming, . . .  You name it.  This mother is determined to win as if it were a competition.  To her, if her kids loves her enough, they would fulfill her request.  It is a test -- a test of the kids' loyalty to her.  

It made me sigh:  Why put the kids through such a thing?  You want to test your kids, but, to begin with, you, yourself, just failed the test of loyalty to your children.  

Remember the story about King Solomon and the baby?  This mother just tore her own baby apart.