What Would I Be Without Your Love

My friend, Bonnie, has a very "colorful" family: She is Jewish.  Her husband is a Caucasian white man. Her sons are mixed-raced brown guys.  One of them has an Asian wife.  The other has a Hispanic wife.  Collectively, the family checks off most of the boxes on a census form for race and ethnic groups.

When talking about her beloved sons, Bonnie told me, "Many people thought they were adopted because of their skin tone.  Plus, the two boys look so different.  Of course, they are my kids.  They just resemble more the people on their father's side."

Bonnie seldom talks about her past.  Yet, on this day, she opened up about her relationship with the father of her children.  

"Their father was a gorgeous man!  I was young and I was so infatuated with him.  He was a terrible person, but I was willing to look the other way.  Even though life was horrific for me and the kids, I was reluctant to leave him.  Finally, things had gotten so bad that I started fearing for our lives.  For my kids' safety, I decided that we had to flee."

Bonnie tried to squeeze out a nervous laugh to ease the atmosphere.  Yet, her attempt was insufficient to mask her embarrassment and anguish. 

She recounted while staring out the window, "It was hard enough to be a single mom.  It was even harder when you are constantly on the run with two little boys.  Their father was after us.  We moved so many times.  We had to change our names.  Life was really rough and unstable.  I did not know how to explain to my boys why we could not stay at one place for more than a few months.  It was only after their father went to jail before we could settle down for a new life.  I put myself and my children at risk just because I stupidly fell for a man's handsome looks.  I was a fool.  I still feel bad about it.  I don't want my friends to find out about that side of me.  I don't want them to judge me . . . "

Bonnie turned to look at me.  Her lips were pressed tightly together.  Her eyes were red.  The poor woman has been through a lot.

"You think I am stupid, don't you?"  Bonnie's voice was trembling.

"No, you are not stupid." It was heart-wrenching to listen to the story.  "Why would I judge you, my friend?  You were just being a normal young woman -- yearning for love and tried to pursue a relationship with a handsome young man.  I can totally understand and sympathize with you.  It is just unfortunate that the inside of a person does not always match the attractive facade you see on the outside.  You had the courage to leave with the kids and you did a commendable job raising them.  You should be proud of yourself."

I put my hand on hers.  I found myself trying hard to squeeze out a smile.

********

My friend, Ross, is a die hard romantic.  The former diplomat loves the French culture and speaks fluent French.  One of his favorite thing is to play French tunes on his accordion.  Needless to say, he had many girlfriends in his youth.  Even though he is married and has an adult child, he still is in touch with a few of his former French girlfriends.  Periodically, he goes to France to visit them to rekindle their treasured memories. 

And his wife does not mind?  

"Who am I to mind?  I understand this is a precious part of his life.  It is not like he is having an affair.  I have to leave him alone." His wife shook her head in resignation.  

In a nostalgic voice, Ross declares, "If I get to live to be one hundred years old, I still would want to be in love.  Without it, would life still be worth living?"