Are You Talking To Me?

One thing I really miss being an Aikido student is receiving corrections from teachers.  Even as a senior student, personal corrections from teachers is like a custom dietary supplements that is targeted at your specific needs.  It definitely helps you grow stronger.  Once you are on your own, running your own dojo, however, opportunities to receive direct instruction from teachers become scarce, let alone being corrected.

As Mike and I were raised by our teachers, whether it is at our home dojo or at a seminar, as soon as the instructor of the class points out "mistakes people are making", our immediate reaction tend to be: "Is Sensei talking about me?"  We quickly examine ourselves on what we have been doing.  As soon as we break out to resume practice, we do our very best to make sure that we hit all the key points that the teacher is stressing.

Takeguchi Sensei is known for being a nice and kind person.  When he makes corrections in front of a class, he always puts it in very general terms "People are doing XXX . . . " as he demonstrates the mistakes, and then offer alternatives.  There is never clear indication of who he is talking about.  It is always up to individuals to decide what they wish to do with Sensei's comment.

Years ago, after practice, I went up to Sensei to ask him to clarify a point he made in class and apologized for not having done so well.  "Oh, you are fine.  What you did was not bad at all." he smiled.  

"Really?" I was surprised.  I knew I was not doing exactly what my teacher showed.  I thought I must be one of the "people" he was talking about.

"Yes, really." Sensei chuckled and then let out a sigh.  "My comment was actually targeted at somebody else.  But, as always, the non-target audience reacted to it, but the ones that the comment was intended for did not catch the idea at all!"  He went on laughing as he face-palmed himself and shook his head.  🤦‍♂️

Read [Dunning-Kruger Effect]

Being my teacher's student, now that I am an instructor, when I want to show something to someone who  is very sensitive to criticisms or have ego issues, I sometimes would make corrections for his partner, hoping that he would see it, hear it and, perhaps, change.  More often than not, however, the target audience steps away, glancing up and down with a proud look on his face as if it is has nothing to do with him.  Of course, unlike his poor partner who desperately needs help, he is doing absolutely everything perfectly.

“When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can't make them change if they don't want to, just like when they do want to, you can't stop them.”

-- Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol in His Own Words