Between A Rock And A Hard Place
A student is facing some major changes at her workplace. The uncertainties and extra workload has got her all stressed out. While it is wonderful that she still tries to find time to come to Aikido practice, she seems unusually scared and frazzled. Instead of extending her energy outwards, she shrinks. She falls away from her partners in the worst directions possible. She acts like she was being chased after nonstop and there is nowhere to go.
Takeguchi Sensei says, people often play out what they are experiencing in real life when they get on the mat. The more grabby and aggressive they are, the more likely they are trying to seize control. Since they do not have control of their life, they are trying to get it back on the Aikido mat.
Another student has been going through some rough spot in life. When he comes to the dojo to practice, he puts himself between the earth and the strong spots of his partners. Faced with such resistance, he stiffens up to push and push, but his actions only get him more stuck. He is, literally, stuck between a rock and a hard place, but he is not aware of it. There are so many places he could go, but he keeps picking the toughest spots. The more he tries to overpower his partner, the more powerless he feels. He, too, is recreating the situation in his life on the mat.
Practicing Aikido is about learning to make good decisions in a split second. Whether it is heaven or hell, it is often just one thought away. All the available options are there. It is really up to the practitioners to choose. Out of an infinity number of options, people, somehow, tend to always pick the worst one possible.
I was talking about this phenomenon with an Aikido old friend. "It is complicated. Too easy for you to say," he said.
I let out a sympathetic sigh.
"I understand. It may seem so for the person inside the situation in the heat of the moment. At the time, it may feel like you have no options and there is no way out, but it is not true. After the fact, looking back, you often find it amazingly simple and wonder why it felt so hard at the time. The ability to see clearly through all the smoke and smog, even when under stress, all comes with practice and experience. And this is what we are trying to learn in Aikido."
In light of the students' stiffness -- both physical and mental -- as well as their fearfulness, I decided to do "Pushing Hands" exercise in class.
The premise is simple: The two parties stand in same hanmi, with the same hand forward. Their hands are crossed between them. They are not allowed to move their feet. By only shifting weight, they take turns to try to touch each other's nose with their front hand, or to evade the hand of their partner.
People were very tense and scared because their partner's hand was going straight for their faces fast, but they were stuck in place with their feet. Reflexively, people started pushing at their partner's hand sideways. They ducked their heads, bending left and right, and even backwards in order to avoid being touched. The more they do these things, the more they put themselves in the way of their partner's offensive hand.
After the exercise, I asked them to name the lessons they learnt from this experience.
1/ Resistance is futile.
2/ To be able to move well and to not sabotage oneself, it is important to stay relaxed.
3/ It is important to use the entire body.
4/ If you are willing to move along with the flow of the partner's movement, it will automatically take you to where it is safe.
5/ As dangerous as the situation might seem, the danger is not real at all. As long as you are willing to move, you cannot be hit.
A group of students were sitting around me near the end of class. I summarized the concept and mindset that I am trying to instill in them.
"Since I am free to move, by definition, I cannot be hit. If I cannot be hit, what is there to fear about? Because I am not afraid, there is so little to do: just block and hit. I have so much time!"
Students listened attentively and tried to take it in. However, from their facial expressions, I have the impression that they still found this series of logic rather perplexing. But I was not even done yet . . .
"When my partner comes at me, instead of evading, I embrace the attack fearlessly. I actually invite them to come for me. As Takeguchi Sensei says, ' Because I am so willing to die, I end up living!'"
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