New Year Resolutions

A student says she is looking for "words" for the new year.  

For example, she has chosen "Pleasure" and "Enjoy" for her yoga classes.  She says that, from experience, when she focused on these aspects, her yoga sessions got much better.  As a result, she is searching for the right words for her Aikido practice in this coming year.  

"Somehow, these words I found for yoga just don't sound right for Aikido."  Her laughs sound like a lovely tinkling bell.  "I wonder what you would suggest as the words for my Aikido practice . . ."

Student is a free spirit.  I am quite amused by the way she thinks about things, but my old-fashioned brain does not function this way.

"Hmmm,"  I ponder for a couple seconds, "When I was younger, there were times I was really frustrated with my Aikido training.  I was overwhelmed by the many techniques and aspects in training.  I could leave the dojo feeling like I did not learn anything:  I could not make the techniques work, I could not remember anything from the class, and I fell like a sac of potatoes when I took ukemi.  I dreaded going to the dojo and thought I should quit.

Luckily, I stayed on.   Somehow, I came up with an idea:  Every day, I set a small goal for myself.  It can be just something really tiny, like staying in hanmi.  Or, no matter what, I will keep my balance.  It does not matter if I can do one single technique well or remember anything from class at all.  As long as I don't stumble all over the place, I am good.

The lowered expectation helps me emotionally.  I don't beat up on myself as much.  The interesting thing is that, as I achieve my tiny goals of the day, the other aspects of my practice also get better.  It is as if they help hold the randomly floating pieces together.  It really helps me." 

Student looks at me with sparkles in her eyes.  "I really like that!  So, What do you think I can use for my goals?"  

She is so new to Aikido that almost anything can do -- keeping hanmi, maintaining balance, doing clear basic body movements . . .  I easily rattle off half a dozen possible things for her to consider.

Then I realize she is staring at me with a funny smile.

"Now what?" I ask.

She takes a deep breath and confesses, "Hearing you say that you once did things like this makes me feel good."  

"Really?  Why?" I am perplexed.

"To know that you also struggled and got frustrated like I do, you know . . . " she muttered sheepishly.

"Of course I struggled!  What do you think?  I felt I was so not talented.  I thought there was no hope for me in Aikido.  Who was I kidding anyways?"  I divulge everything about myself without reservation.  

"How old were you?  In your 20's?" she asks.  I respond with a nod.

Student is all smiles from ear to ear, "I know it!  I am so glad I am older now.  I don't feel that way anymore.  Life is so much better!"

There you have another happy young person cheerfully looking forward to another year of challenges and growth.  

And I was once that starry-eyed young person.  

I guess this is how the torch gets passed along.