The Gospel Continues. . .

If you also suffer from migraines, I hope my experience below helps you.

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I believe in the mind-body connection.  I have had interesting experience of what the mind can do.  Yet, I never thought it could be that powerful . . . 

I have recently started seeing a very skillful myofascial release therapist.  On this day, she decided that we need to work on releasing some scar tissues in order to improve the range of motion of my left shoulder.  

As she stretched my left arm out beyond my comfort zone, my finger tips started tingling.  Very soon, the entire hand started feeling numb.  I could tell the nerve pains were firing rapidly.  I took a slow, deep breath and let her continue to move my hand away from me.  Suddenly, I felt a rather strong sharp pain from three fingers on the left -- my thumb, index finger and middle finger.  Nevertheless, I knew I was not in danger so, I did nothing in response.  

It may sound like I have gone nuts, but I felt that my fingers were screaming at me with hate and resentment: "I can't believe you are not coming to save me!" They turned their faces away from me.  I looked at them with sympathy, but I decided to look away.  

My therapist continued to stretch my arm out.  The fascia connection quickly extended upwards.  I could feel it along my neck and up to my head, reaching all the way to the point where the pain is the most intense every time I have a migraine episode.  It felt like a giant amber just got fanned and regained its fierce glow.  That definitely got my attention.  

This is a very familiar connection to me.  It calls me, I turn to give it my full attention.  It howls and creates debilitating pain.  

Read [The Gospel]

With my newly gained awareness, before the pain settles in to start an episode, I quickly switched my attention to the stretch.  I refused to engage with the pain.  Instead, I took a deep breath to create more slack in cooperation with my therapist, and let the stretch continue.  

The pain subsided.  

It was fascinating.  It was so curious.  

"Is it for real?  Did the pain really go down, or is it my imagination?"

I switched my attention back to the migraine pain central spot on my head.  Instantly, the pain flared up again!  It almost seemed like it had been hunching there to wait for my return.

Having confirmed that the migraine was waiting there to ambush me, I chose not to go back.  

The stretch went on for what felt like an eternity.  

I did not develop a migraine.

My therapist went on to manipulate my head.  She held my head and facilitated the tissues to relax and elongate.  As the neck tissues relax, they need more room.  My therapist offered her hands as a cradle to allow my head move to where the tissues were able to unfurl.  It is amazing how my head can just roll all over the place by itself.  Wrapped in my therapist's very warm hands, my head felt safe, relaxed and alive. 

When she put my head back down on the table, inside my head, it felt like things were still not quite settled.  It was pumping and pounding.  

"Is it my pulse?" I wondered.  

But wait: there were two or maybe even three such "pulses" in my head!  How can I have more than one pulse?  That is not normal!

My therapist put her hands on my chest and gently pumped them up and down.  I was not exactly sure what she was trying to achieve.  On my part, I closed my eyes.  In front of me, I could see a black and white scene.  It was akin to the screen of video games nowadays: My side is dark; what is in front of me is bright and white.  

With the pounding pulses I felt in my head, some things were jumping up and down.  They were trying to jump out of and away from me, but they could not.  From the silhouette, they looked like frogs.  They kept hopping violently, but it looked as if they were bound by an invisible membrane.  They could not get free no matter what.  

As my therapist slowed down her movements, fewer frogs jumped, and they jumped less vigorously and less frequently.  Finally, they stopped.  All the darkness was gone.  In front of me was just a big white space.

That was when I realized, "It was me.  It was all me!"  I caught myself saying out loud.  

Many thoughts and scenes from my life flashed in front of my eyes within a short time.  

A Rolfer I used to worked with always sfound it perplexing that I had so many ailments, aches and pains since a young age.  He once said, "You were possibly the most lively person he had ever touched!"  He asked, "Were you very unhappy before you got cancer?"  I said yes.  It turned out that he was the same.  "I believe that we did not really get sick.  Our cancers could be a result of a very strong mind trying to help us end the suffering.  It is so powerful that it went for the ultimate solution by trying to end our lives," he suggested.

It led me to wonder:  Could the migraines be an overreaction of a loving mind attempting to shield me from everything and anything that it thinks could be a threat?

If that is the case, perhaps, what I need to do is to learn to desensitize my mind and reassure it that things are okay.   It may sound strange, but I may need to re-educate myself that many of the "triggers" are actually not a threat.

It really scares me to think about what obsessive, crooked love could do . . .